worst month ever!!! :((

this has been the worst month ever!

why?

here's why:

1. i suffered from an allergy that affected my right eye (but i got over it)

2. i fainted during work then sprained my left foot

and now,

3. i've got the allergies again! this time it's not my eyes. it's my neck. it's burning and i'm having a hard time sleeping. grrr!!

i wish i get well before jan 3 comes. hmmm... oh well.

hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

Season's Greetings!

Merry Christmas everyone!!

hope everyone is doing well. hmm.. i still haven't finished wrapping some of my "gifts/regalo" for my family.

well.. forgive me this once but this year hasn't been that good for me. coz things didn't quite go as planned. oh well. talk about yesterday. i fainted during work and didn't realize i sprained my left foot when i regained my consciousness. oh well.. how awful can this day get?! so my elder brother/kuya brought me back home to give me some meds coz there were none @ the plant. anyway, i slept the whole morning and went back to work in the afternoon. geez!! my left foot really hurt like HELL! up till now, it still does. i don't know if i can make through church, just standing all throughout the sermon and all. ugh!! how awful, right? oh well... hope i make through this..

wish me luck! post some comments if you'd like. i'd much appreciate it. kamsahamnida.

finally...

na gwenchanimnida!! finally!!! i can now sleep well... well.. still have to undergo one eye operation. not sure when tho. still have to get myself checked by another doctor. oh well...

헤어지러 가는 길

헤어지러 가는 길 널 버리려 하는 일
Heeojireo ganeun gil neol beoriryeo haneun il
니 가슴 아픈 만큼 내 가슴도 아플 걸 알지만
Ni gaseum apeun mankeum nae gaseumdo apeul geol aljiman
이게 나아서 하는 일
Ige naaseo haneun il

내 마음이 맨날 내 생각만 하던 마음이
Nae maeumi maennal nae saenggangman hadeon maeumi
처음으로 너를 위해서 하는 일을 그런 일을 하러 가는 길
Cheoeumeuro neoreul wihaeseo haneun ireul geureon ireul hareo ganeun gil

널 만나러 가는 길 너무나 행복한 일
Neol mannareo ganeun gil neomuna haengbokhan il
그 동안 못해줬던 소중한 말 한마디 사랑해
Geu dongan mothaejwotdeon sojunghan mal hanmadi saranghae
그 말을 하러 가는 길
Geu mareul hareo ganeun gil

너무 늦은 걸 알아 그래 늦은 걸 알아
Neomu neujeun geol ara geurae neujeun geol ara
이미 내 맘은 니 곁을 떠났는 걸
Imi nae mameun ni gyeoteul tteonanneun geol
내 사랑은 넘치는 걸
Nae sarangeun neomchineun geol
이제야 말하지만 내 진심이니까
Ijeya malhajiman nae jinsiminikka
꼭 받아주길 바래
Kkok badajugil barae

헤어지러 가는 길 널 만나러 가는 길
Heeojireo ganeun gil neol mannareo ganeun gil
내가 위하는 만큼 너도 날 위하는 걸 알기에
Naega wihaneun mankeum neodo nal wihaneun geol algie
지금 가고 있어
Jigeum gago isseo

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=j+lim+ft+jo+kwon+-+the+road+to+breaking+up

:(

still have the allergies. it gotten worst as i feared. oh well. i hope i get through this. i've been on sick leave this past few days except i had to come in this morning due to my dada's special request. well what i can do but follow as my "oppa/big brother" has a meeting somewhere in gensan. grrr!!! i can't take this allergy no more!!!


nuni apayo!!! huhuhu!!! toajuseyo!!

고백하던날

어떻게 말할까 수백번 생각하느라
eotteoke malhalkka subaekbeon saenggakhaneura
잠 을 설쳐서 얼굴도 엉망이고
jameul seolchyeoseo eolguldo eongmangigo
오늘따 라 머리까지 맘에 안들어
oneulttara meorikkaji mame andeureo
하루종일 안절부절
harujongil anjeolbujeol

어느새 너를 만나기 한 시간전
eoneusae neoreul mannagi han siganjeon
꽃집에 들러 꽃을 좀사려는데
kkocchibe deulleo kkocheul jomsaryeoneunde
장밀살까 다른꽃살까
jangmilsalkka dareunkkotsalkka
에라 모르겟다 아줌마 이쁘게 해주세요
era moreugetda ajumma ippeuge haejuseyo

오늘은 널 만나면 이쁘다고 말하려 했는데
oneureun neol mannamyeon ippeudago malharyeo haenneunde
얼굴보자마자 내가 꽃샀으니까 니가 밥사
eolgulbojamaja naega kkotsasseunikka niga bapsa
어쩜 이런 말만 나와
eojjeom ireon malman nawa

도대체 멍청한건지 아님 순진한건지
dodaeche meongcheonghangeonji anim sunjinhangeonji
이렇 게 한심한 말만 튀어나와
ireoke hansimhan malman twieonawa
사실은 내가 하려했던 말은 말야
sasireun naega haryeohaetdeon mareun mallya
난 널 사랑해
nan neol saranghae

밤새워 연습했던말 다 잊어버리고
bamsaewo yeonseuphaetdeonmal da ijeobeorigo
멋없이 그냥 건넨 꽃다발에도
meoseobsi geunyang geonnen kkottabaredo
밝게 웃어주던 많이 좋아하던 넌 천사야
barkge useojudeon manhi johahadeon neon cheonsaya
you are my angel


밥먹고 이런 저런 얘길나누며
bammeokgo ireon jeoreon yaegillanumyeo
언제 말할까 기회만 엿보다가
eonje malhalkka gihoeman yeotbodaga
지금할까 지금이야 사실 나 이젠 아무것도 안들려
jigeumhalkka jigeumiya sasil na ijen amugeotdo andeullyeo

내맘은 너 아니면 안된다고 말하려 하는데
naemameun neo animyeon andoendago malharyeo haneunde
둘 다 외로운데 한번 만나볼래
dul da oerounde hanbeon mannabollae
계속이런말만 나와
gyesogireonmalman nawa

도 대체 멍청한 건지 아님 순진한건지
dodaeche meongcheonghan geonji anim sunjinhangeonji
이렇게 한심한 말만 튀어나와
ireoke hansimhan malman twieonawa
사실은 내가하려 했던 말은 말야
sasireun naegaharyeo haetdeon mareun mallya
난 널 사랑해
nan neol saranghae

밤 새워 연습했던 말 다 잊어버리고
bamsaewo yeonseuphaetdeon mal da ijeobeorigo
멋 없이 그냥 건넨 내 고백에도
meoseobsi geunyang geonnen nae gobaegedo
밝게 웃어주며 고갤 끄덕여준 넌 천사야
barkge useojumyeo gogael kkeudeogyeojun neon cheonsaya
you are my angel


널 사랑해 널 사랑해 밤새 연습하고 하지 못한말
neol saranghae neol saranghae bamsae yeonseuphago haji motanmal
널 좋아해 널 사랑해 꼭 해주고 싶던 말
neol johahae neol saranghae kkok haejugo sipdeon mal

oh 도대체 멍청한 건지 아님 순진한 건지
oh dodaeche meongcheonghan geonji anim sunjinhan geonji
이렇게 한심한 말만 튀어나와
ireoke hansimhan malman twieonawa
사실은 내가 하려 했던 말은 말야
sasireun naega haryeo haetdeon mareun mallya
난 널 사랑해
nan neol saranghae

밤 새워 연습했던 말 다 잊어버리고
bamsaewo yeonseuphaetdeon mal da ijeobeorigo
멋 없이 그냥 건넨 내 고백에도
meoseobsi geunyang geonnen nae gobaegedo
밝게 웃어주며 고갤 끄덕여준 넌 천사야
barkge useojumyeo gogael kkeudeogyeojun neon cheonsaya

you are my angel
you are my angel
내가 더 잘할게
naega deo jalhalge


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RDL27jScLU


(i dorae saranghamnida!!! i love this song!!! so much!!! 난 널 사랑해!!)

enjoy watching!! ^_^

어떡하죠?

두근거렸죠 하지만 그대가 아닌 그사람 때문이라는 게 너무나 아팠죠
요즘 그대가 날 바라봐줄 때마다 난 그 사람 이 떠올라요

정말 미안해요 나 그대를 만난 건 내 인생에서 가장 큰 행운이 맞는데
난 바본가 봐요 어쩔 수가 없네요 계속 그 사람이 떠올라요

오 난 며칠 동안 잊으려 해봐도 잘 안돼요
***
어떡하죠 계속 그대의 얼굴에서 난 그 사람의 얼굴이 보여요
이러면 안 된다고 다그쳐봐도 그 게 잘 안돼요 난
어떡하죠 나 그대의 목소리에서 그 사람의 목소리가 들려요
이미 내 마음은 그댈 떠나 그 사람을 사랑하나 봐요

그댈 만나서 같이 있는 시간에도 그곳에 그 사람이 있을까 눈치를 봤죠
그대와 함께 길을 걸어갈 때에도 그 사람이 볼까 두려웠죠

이러면 안되죠 나 안되는거 아는데 그대에게 사랑한단 말이 어색해져요
그대는 나에게 최선을 다해주는데 지금 난 그럴 수 가 없어요
오 난 그댈 다시 사랑하려 해봐도 안돼요

*** 반복

나 영원히 그대 곁에서 그댈 지키고 싶었는데
내 마음이 자꾸 그대가 아닌 그 사람을 찾아요

***반복

이 노래

예쁜 목걸일 사주고 싶지만 멋진 차를 태워주고 싶지만
예쁜 옷을 입혀주고 싶지만 오 난 좋은 곳에 데려가고 싶지만

주머니에 넣은 손엔 잡히는 게 없는데 어떻게 널 잡을 수가 있어
내 생활은 너에게 어울리질 않는데 그래도 내 곁에 있어주겠니

***
줄 수 있는 게 이 노래밖에 없다 가진 거라곤 이 목소리밖에 없다
이게 널 웃게 만들 수 있을진 모르지만 그래도 불러본다 니가 받아주길 바래본다

너는 괜찮다고 말을 하지만 나만 있으면 된다고 하지만
행복하다고 늘 말해 주지만 너는 더 바라는 게 없다고 하지만

예쁘고 좋은 것들 재밌고 멋진 일들 너도 분명히 하고 싶잖아 Baby
내 곁에 있어주면 못하는 걸 알잖아 그래도 내 곁에 있어주겠니

***반복

이 노래밖에 없다 정말 가진게 이 목소리밖에 없다
이게 널 웃게 만들 수 있을진 모르지만
그래도 불러본다 니가 받아주길 바래본다

니가 받아주길 바래본다

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eWE-z_SgrQ

친구의 고백

꽤 오래됐어 내 맘이 조금씩 변하기 시작한지
gwae orae dwesseo nae mami jogeumshik byunhagi shijakhanji
혼자서 괴로워한지
honjaseo gwaerohwohanji..
언제부턴가 니가 볼때마다
eonjebuteonga niga bulttaemada
너를 울리는 남자가 너무나 미웠어
neoreul olineun namjaga neomuna miwosseo

차라리 내가 널 지키는 게
charari naega neol jikineun ge
나을지도 모른다는 생각이
naeuljido moreundaneun saenggagi
이제는 내가 널 안아주고
ijeneun naega neol anajugo
사랑해주고 싶단 생각이 들었어
saranghaejugo sipdan saenggagi deuleosseo

Baby 이제는 내게 와
Baby ijeneun naege wa
And Be my lady 너무나 오랫동안
And Be my lady neomuna oraetdongan
지켜봤어 말없이 서서
jikyeobwasseo mareopsi seoseo
안타까운 가슴을 숨기며
antakkaun gaseumeul sumgimyeo
친구로 친구로 지내야 한단 이유로
chin gu ro chin gu ro jinaeya handan iyuro
목까지 차올랐던
mokkagi chaolatdeon
그 고백을 참아야 했어
geu gubaegeul chamaya haesseo
하지만 이제는 고백할께
hajiman ijeneun gobaekhalkke
너를 사랑해
neoreul saranghae

내 손을 잡고 나밖에 없다며
nae soneul japgo nabakke oepdamyeo
나같은 친구를 둔게 정말 큰 축복이라며
nagateun chin gu reul dun ge jeongmal kun juk bo gi ra myeo
변치 말라고 말을 할 때마다
byeon chi malrago mareun hal ttaenada
조금씩 자라나는 내 사랑을 눌렀어
jogeumssik jarananeun dae sarangeul nulleosseo


차라리 내가 널 지키는 게
charari naega neol jikineun ge
나을지도 모른다는 생각이
naeuljido moreundaneun saenggaki
자꾸만 들어 하지만 참았어
jakkuman deuleo hajiman chamasseo
너를 잃어버릴까 두려워 하지만
neoreul ireobeorilkka duryeowo, hajiman...


Baby 이제는 내게 와
Baby ijeneun naege wa
And Be my lady 너무나 오랫동안
And Be my lady neomuna oraetdongan
지켜봤어 말없이 서서
jikyeobwasseo mareopsi seoseo
안타까운 가슴을 숨기며
antakkaun gaseumeul sumgimyeo
친구로 친구로 지내야 한단 이유로
chin gu ro chin gu ro jinaeya handan iyuro
목까지 차올랐던
mokkagi chaolatdeon
그 고백을 참아야 했어
geu gubaegeul chamaya haesseo
하지만 이제는 고백할께
hajiman ijeneun gobaekhalkke
너를 사랑해
neoreul saranghae

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSIgzm_jSGA

(i hope there's someone out there who could tell me these lines: norul saranghae)

웃어 줄 수가 없어서 미안하다

헤 어 지 자
He o ji ja

오늘 무슨 말이라도 내게 하지 말아줘
Oneul museun marirado naege haji marajwo
장난스런 너의 말도 받아줄 수가 없어
jangnanseuron noye maldo badajeul suga obso
사랑하냐는 그 말도 이젠 묻지 말아줘
saranghanyaneun geu maldo ijen mudji marajwo
넌 믿을 수가 없겠지만 나 헤어지려 해
non mideul suga obgejiman na heyojiryeo hae

Oh~ 힘들 때면 안아주던
Oh~ himdeul ddaemyeon anajudeon
아플 때도 감싸주던
apeul ddaedo kamssajudeon
그랬던 내가 그랬던 내가 너와 더이상
keuraetdeon naega keuraetdeon naega nowa do isang

웃어줄 수가 없어서
useojul suga obseoso
미안하다 미안하다 우리 그만 헤어지자
mianhada mianhada uri keuman heojija
웃어줄 수가 없어서
useojul suga obseoso
미안하다 미안하다 우리 그만 헤어지자
mianhada mianhada uri keuman heojija

헤 어 지 자 헤 어 지 자 헤 어 지 자
He o ji ja He o ji ja He o ji ja


너를 보내고서 나도 많이 힘들었어서
noreul bonaegoseo nado manhi himdeureosseoso
이젠 너 없이 혼자서 나도 살아 보려 해
ijen no obshi honjaseo nado sara boryeo hae
잘 지내냐는 그 말도 이젠 묻지 말아줘
jal jinaenyaneun geu maldo ijen mudji marajwo
넌 믿을 수가 없겠지만 나 아주 잘지내
non mideul suga obgetjiman na aju jaljinae


Oh~ 힘들때면 안아주던
Oh~ himdeul ddaemyeon anajudeon
아플때도 감싸주던
apeul ddaedo kamssajudeon
그랬던 내가 그랬던 내가 널 잊어보려 해
keuraetdeon naega keuraetdeon naega nowa do isang

울어줄 수도 없어서
ureojul sudo obseoso
미안하다 미안하다 우리 마주치지 말자
mianhada mianhada uri majuchiji malja
울어줄 수가 없어서
ureojul sudo obseoso
미안하다 미안하다 우리 마주치지 말자
mianhada mianhada uri majuchiji malja


아 닌 데 이 게 난 아 닌 데
a nin de i ge nan a nin de
아 직 도 널 사 랑 하 는 데
a jik do neol sa rang ha neun de
(널 사랑하는데~)
neol sa rang ha neun de

웃어줄 수가 없어서 미안하다
useojul suga obseoso
미안하다 우리 그만 헤어지자
mianhada mianhada uri keuman heojija

헤 어 지 자
He o ji ja

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frgFyrZUoM8

(i hope they make a vid for this song! this is also one of my faves from 2am..
헤 어 지 자?? hehe...)

죽어도 못 보내

어려도 아픈 건 똑같아
세상을 잘 모른다고
아픈걸 모르진 않아
괜찮아 질 거라고
왜 거짓말을 해
이렇게 아픈 가슴이 어떻게 쉽게 낫겠어
너 없이 어떻게 살겠어 그래서 난

죽어도 못 보내
내가 어떻게 널 보내
가려거든 떠나려거든 내 가슴 고쳐내
아프지 않게 나 살아갈 수 라도 있게
안 된다면 어차피 못살 거
죽어도 못 보내

아무리 니가 날 밀쳐도
끝까지 붙잡을 거야
어디도 가지 못하게
정말 갈 거라면 거짓말을 해
내일 다시 만나자고 웃으면서 보자고
헤어지잔 말은 농담이라고 아니면 난

죽어도 못 보내
내가 어떻게 널 보내
가려거든 떠나려거든 내 가슴 고쳐내
아프지 않게 나 살아갈 수 라도 있게
안 된다면 어차피 못살 거
죽어도 못 보내

그 많은 시간을 함께 겪었는데
이제와 어떻게 혼자 살란 거야
그렇겐 못해 난 못해

죽어도 못 보내
정말로 못 보내
내가 어떻게 널 보내
가려거든 떠나려거든 내 가슴 고쳐내
아프지 않게 나 살아갈 수 라도 있게
안 된다면 어차피 못살 거
죽어도 못 보내

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOREkPq1aVQ


(one of my fave from 2am)

worst week bites!

it's been a while since i last posted. sorry guys. been busy preparin' for some stuff here so.. well. how's everyone been doing? i hope you guys had a pleasant weekend. mine was still a bit off. what's worse than having a deadline and an allergy that i can't seem to get out off yet? hmm... well, last night i got bitten by an insect. it mimic a bee. hence, i wasn't really bitten but i got stung by this unfortunate insect. coz right after it stung me, my dad caught it and burned it. a small part of my left side is a bit swollen though. it hurts a lot too.. ang hapdi nga maxado... i have a hard time sleeping on my left side. grrr.. oh well... how worst can my weekend get? ugh!! ssibal!! hope i get through this. but look @ the bright side, the insect doesn't seem to be harmful now. now that it's dead!! hehehe... and the venom isn't that potent either. hahahaha!!! hmmmm...

monster allergy!! :(

damn! i've got the allergies!!! grrr!!! how bad can this life get?! gaaaah!!! both ma eyes hurt like hell.. not only does it hurt pretty bad, but it itches too.. just went to the docs i know in the mall, they said i must've ate something i wasn't aware i was allergic to. i really don't know if i'm allergic to any food but milk. gaaah! wtf!

nun i appayo!!

click on cc for subs... nice vid.

또르르

sorry i wasn't able to come post a few thoughts. it's just that i've been a bit busy these days.

btw, this is one of my fave songs from my current fave show. i hope you guys like this as much as i did.

또르르

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sI9x_X4zqk

appa (it hurts) eng ver

appa (it hurts)

IT HURTS (slow)--ENGLISH TRANSLATION

[CL] You wear the shoes I gave you and walk along the streets with her
As if it were nothing, you kiss her
You spray the cologne I gave you and embrace her
You'll probably repeat those promises you made to me with her

[Minzy] It seems that we're already too late
Has our love already ended
Please at least say anything to me
We truly loved each other, can't turn back?

[Dara] I'm the only one hurting tonight

[Bom] Have you changed?
Am I no longer in your heart now?
When I, I think about you
It hurts, hurts, hurts so much

[Minzy] You look at my tears as if it were nothing
You continue to talk calmly again
[CL] You told me cruely that you couldn't deny
That you had absolutely no attachments or regrets

[Bom] Are we already too late? Is our love over?
Even if it's a lie, please tell me it isn't so
I can do better now, though we can't meet again

[Dara] I'm the only one in pain tonight

[CL] Have you changed?
Am I no longer in your heart now?
When I, I think about you
It hurts, hurts, hurts so much

[Minzy] You're no longer your old self
[CL] Because the you I loved
And the you now are so different
[Dara] Are you that shocked?
I just stood and cried
Watching you become further away
[Bom] No way, I can't recognize
You're not mine anymore

[Dara] Did you have to change?
Can't you come back?
Did you really have to change?
Can't you come back?

Did you have to change?
Can't you come back?
Why did you have to change?
Can't you keep loving me?

[Bom] Oh, is this the end?
Am I no longer in your heart now?
When I, I think about you
[Minzy] It hurts, hurts, hurts so much

[Minzy] It hurts, it hurts
[CL] It hurts, it hurts

nae imam appungayo (my heart hurts; heart broken)

mianhaeda oppa! jongmal mianhae. jombeuteosseo mianhae. manni bogoshipunyo oppa!! bogoshipta!! yongseohae jwo. naege jalmothaesseo. uri, jal jinaesseo? oppa!!! uri hui ui andwae! amppokko!! sireohaeyo!! nan saranghan'da oppa! oppaneun nan saranghamnida. uri hui ui andwae ji, ara?! torawa! oppaneun torawatagu kkeoya!! bogoshipta!


songs for the day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O16Q-ieTgE8


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAKbrqlmcbs

could-be side effects??!

i'm goin to bed now coz i'm soooo bored in here! like super bored!! there's nothing for me to do here but sleep these days. i slept the entire day, but why do i still feel sleepy?? grrr!! i hate this drug!! 21 days total minus i think 3 equals 18 days more to go... grrr!!

oh well... magtiis. pasenxa!

noviembre y uno dos mil y sientos diyes.. en el todos los santos

another day has passed. still haven't slept. oh well.. and it's now nov 2 here in the phil... araw ng mga santo or todos los santos or in english, all saint's day. oh well.. i had a blast lastnight at the cemetery with friends and family. didn't really stay long @ mom's. so i went out of our tent and walked around for the entire night. met gong2x, noni and negro along the way. had fun talking with them too.. plus i have a newly found friend there. hehe! oh well... i'm such a friendly person!! everywhere i go, people seem to know me without me knowing them...

met up with my best friend there too. Antonio "JunJun/Qiaojiaren" Salazar, Jr. it's been a long time. oraemaniya. hehe. it's been good seeing ya again, best! btw, ung plano natin kelangan na talagang matuloy un!! oi!! chips ahoy!! ;P

what i'd give to spend my days and nights with my dear best friend. coz it seems he's the only one around here who really understands me regardless of the days and nights of not having contact with each other. oh well... guess i'm just misunderstood. woe is me! woe is me! oh well... i don't mind. no, i don't care anymore. like the saying goes, "you weren't exactly born to this world to please everyone around you. somewhere along the way, someone will criticize you for who and what you are. whether you like it or not, you'll just have to accept it." hmmm.. i don't know who really said that line and from where that line really come from, but whoever said that, that person is right.

going to bed now... i need to take a nap!! coz we'll be coming back to the cemetery later. idk what time tho but i really can't wait!!!

gnyt i mean gmorning folks and losers!! mmmwah!

TORAWA!!! Torawa tago oppa!! chebal torawa!!

listen...

To ra wa!!! Torawa!! nanun otttoke??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx2lnZ_WjkA


chebal.. torawa... sarangingayo.

Nagging [Jansori (chansori)]

Hope you guys like it!! ka ma na ja!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC4dyX-BssI&NR=1

cda (certified drug addict?) ?!

pff! can't believe i have to take this drug! wtf!!! oh well... seems like everyone still wants me around... grrr!! how much longer do i have to make "tiis"?! i don't think i can take this anymore!!! grrrr!!! FUCK!!

can't believe i still love you up till now. hmmm.. wae?? why? bakit? ngano? porque?

i just hope this drug won't give me problems. else, i throw this shit up! hehe... later i'm goin' to the high lands with my girl friend, Che. she says i have to unwind. hmmm... do you think i really need that now? hmm... idk either but wth!! if it kills me, then gooo!!!! haha!!!

later losers!! hahahaha!! just kidding!!

hanmadiman [one word]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IduqASu_BA0&NR=1

nan sarangeul molla

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiOGChfKR4Y

:(

na apa. nanun kiuni opseumnida. wae molla. oh well.. guess i'll just eat my way outta this. hmm...

Selfish

i gave my time for you, my best to you but you kept on leaving me
i gave my heart to you, my love for you but you kept on throwing it back to me
i made you promise me so many things but you kept on forgettin them all
why? why?


why do you act this way?
can you feel my pain now?
why do you treat me hurt me this way?
can you see my tears falling down?
i don't remember when or how i fell in love with you somehow
still the feelings i have for you remains the same!
why?!

ijen / chigum (now)

i'm sorry... mianhaeda (mi-yan-he-da). hajiman, tangshin wa na... uri chin-gu ya animnida. andwe-ji. neorang yaegi hago sip-jji ana! jigyeowo wa pigonaeimnida. uri tto mannalkkamyeon, sang gwan an hae. uri dasineun mannaji malja! chebal. mianhaeda..
i hurt you, but you hurt me more!

di lang ikaw

pansin mo ba ang pagbabago
di matitigan ang iyong mga mata
tila di na nananabik sayong yakap at halik
sana'y malaman mong hindi ko sinasadya kung ang nais ko ay maging malaya

*
di lang ikaw
di lang ikaw ang nahihirapan
damdamin ko rin ay naguguluhan
di lang ikaw
di lang ikaw ang nababahala
bulong ng isip wag kang pakawalan, ngunit puso ko ay kailangan kang iwan.

pansin mo ba at nararamdaman?
di na tayo magkaintindihan
tila hindi na maibabalik tamis ng yakap at halik
maaring tama ka lumalamig ang pagsinta
sana'y malaman mong di ko sinasadya

*

di hahayaang habang buhay kang saktan
at sasayangin ang iyong panahon
ikaw'y magiging masaya sa yakap at sa piling na ng iba


*

fin

Who was I?

i heard the words that you said
words that laid around within my head
was i just a game to you, not any special someone, just another name for you
that you'd soon once forget?
like all of the ones that ruled once in your head?

*
i need just one more question answered
i need just one more thing to know...
**
who was i when i keep your tears from falling?
who was i when i come to ease your pain and sit by your side?
who was i to believe that i was your best friend?
was i just another mem'ry to forget?

before we both fell apart
i remember holding your hands close to my heart
and i told you to push me away
somehow i knew the wrong could never be right anyway
from you i suddenly did hear a change in your voice with words that i feared

*, **

but if you asked me what you were to me
even if it doesn't matter now
i must say it somehow


you were mine
every tear i'd catch from falling
you were mine
always knew that in this heart you were inside
you were mine
i believed that you were my best friend
though i know i'm just a mem'ry
like 'the end' to all of the stories
but to me you were the one i loved
i loved until the end
..you were mine.

fin

recovered!

i'm happy with life now!! not because of.. hahaha... finally i've finally gotten over ... it feels good being in this kinda state again.. didn't think it'd only take me a few days to get my self back in one piece (again). i should get more OT's than the usual! hehehe..

Saeng-ireul ch'uk'han'da!!!

It's Tatay Leo's birthday tonight!!! Happy Happy Happy Happpppyyy Birthday Tatay Leo!!! Sorry I couldn't come tonight coz I had some stuff to do here sa plant and sa house eh. But will try to come over this coming Saturday or Sunday. Hope you'll have a blessed day Tatay (abeoji/appa)... Saranghamnida Appa!!! Mom choshimhashipshio always...

Happy birthday to you!! May the Lord God bless you...with the donkey and the monkey... with the elephant too!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! <3

forgiveness please.

i hurt someone pretty badly. i'm sorry. i didn't expect this kinda reaction from someone like him. i didn't really expect anything tbh. but i was hoping he'd forgive me and give me a second chance to straighten things out. unfortunately, because of his huge pride, there's no way in for me. anyone but me. i apologized for 3 times but still he won't forgive me. hmm... he's really got this big ego, huh? come to think of it, he never really apologized to me either since we had our first fight (August 9). he really has got a huge pride in himself.

so i decided not to come online for quite some time. i just didn't think he'd answer back. i don't know if he realizes how sorry i am. mianhaeyo. hope you can find in your heart to forgive me someday. keuten, kidarigesseumnida.

mianhamnida (i'm sorry)

i'm sorry if i hurt you di ko sinasadya. but if you can't really take it, can you please tell me? i'm not a fortune-teller to know what's running in your head. i'm sorry. mian. :(

honde, nan chugoitda ijen.. [chigum] jongmal joahaegutunyo. mian. honde, eottokeyo? nan eotokke-iun geoya yeogi? molla. mianhaeda oppa. but know this, sarangingayo. saranghamnida oppa. jal ka!

i want out!

the more i hate myself, the more i want to follow. it's not like anyone would care. well, i guess there'll be a bunch of people around me when that day comes, but that's a bunch of BS to me! i want an open conversation. but how can i if you want me to leave? how can i if you won't even budge to ask how the fuck am i really doin in here Pa? this life is a bunch of bull! fuck!! gikapoy na ko!! dipati ra jud!

everything seems so scattered. i have to fix things here pa muna to lighten up. how long do i have to put up with this kinda shit?! wtf!!

just for the record, tbh, i wasn't really born to this god forsaken planet to please everyone around me.. but wtf am i doing?? hahai... oh well... pagbigyan.

wayganacelebrate?!

it's dada's birthday tonight but wth am i doin here? not in the mood i guess..

oh well..

the reality

i've come to realize that hiding the truth from the ones you love hurts as much as losing the one you pushed away [from you]. i'm sorry i shouldn't have. but i guess it's too late now that you're gone. sorry "A" ha? sorry kaayo. i hid him from you all these years kahit na alam ko na alam mo about him. i just had to protect the both of you from my family. mianhaeyo.

Food Trip!!

bf was easy.. it was mild..

lunch was in normal mode.. ulong to the max!! did the cooking and the plating as well... had fun cooking it!! hahaha!!

dinner was worst tho!! woorijib!! i'm never gonna look at korean food this way again!! torture!! oh well.. will upload soon..

frustration

hahai... mamaya na ang trip ko... nakakabadtrip nga lang si dada... seems like no one is going to bring me to the airport. dada's really not gonna help me out. he's such a prick most days!! grrr.. oh well.. guess i'll just have to commute to the airport this time.. hmmm.. if not, i can always ask mang ani.. hope he's not busy later..

oh well..





i'll see you later tho. :)

Jarheads and KitKatz

jarheads also known as the men from the infantry.. army bayut para makasabot ka... hahaha... kidding! tho my dada isn't in that field... he's from the airforce... idk what they're called as.. oh well...

i had just confirmed my flight and i'm off to yet again another 4-day trip. oh well... kalason noh?? hahaa... buot!!! hahaha... oh well.. i need a kitkat!

ambition or regret?

 i never really told dada the real purpose of me going to manila.. i guess i didn't really want to hurt his feelings. tho he knows that i never really wanted to work in that plant to begin with. it just turned out to be as a"my last resort,"  he still lets me.. oh well... guess i'll just have to save up so i could finish what i really want ..so i could be who i really wanna be.

until that day comes, guess i'll just have to stay put. stagnant but flowing parin.. haha..

?!

Can't seem to sleep tonight.. There's too many thoughts running through my mind and tbh, irdk how to get it off my head. hmmm... I can't even write it all down on a blank page.  Dammmmmmmmit!  This is bad... :| Oh well...  I should learn how to get over it! WTH!

funerals?

rose: kim, kanang sa imong lamay gud (simbako lang), unsa gusto nimo buhaton sa mga tao?
me: hmmm... ako? hmm... simple lang.. soundtrip lang gud cla gud.. bisan di na sila mangadto, okay ra gihapon sa akoa! haha!
rose: hmmmm... pag sure!
me: lagi! ok ra ui... ahh! magfieldtrip nalang sila!! (lol) sa imuha diay?
rose: wala eh! (laughs) awww.. simple ra pud.. mag-ana lang ko nga but-ngan lang nila ug rh akong lungon ug gusto nako tanan tao magtagay ug sakto.
me: (lol) kuyawa nimo ui! tagay man jud!
rose: alangan noh! nya pag-abot sa langit, muana ko ke san pedro: "tagay ta kol!"
me: (roflmao!) hahahaha!! ana jud!! tagay jud diay??
kyaku: nya rose.. unsaon kun di xa musugot? unsa imo buhaton?
rose: awww... simple ra pud... mag-ana ko niya nga: "san pedro, naa ko'y chooks diri! tara na! tagay na ta!!"
(everyone lmao!)

kuyawa ni rose ui!! xa na gid!! hahaha!!

hmmm....

hope you'll do great there... you know i'll always be around whenever you need me.. take care.





Hugz and Kisses

lmao!

i skipped dinner coz i was so freaking tired from work.. went overdrive with my OT. :p
so i slept to recharge myself. when i woke up, i went directly to the piano to practice some pieces then went upstairs to the computer.

by 2 or 3 am, niko awoke coz my elder bro went inside our room to sleep beside him. he hates it when he does! haha... oh well... he couldn't go back to sleep after that. told him to go back to sleep coz he's got class to attend to, when i suddenly realized "he has no class! today's a saturday!" hahahaha... =) epekto sa OT! waaaahhhh!!! tagam!!! hahaha! ana jud!

yesterday...

woke at about 6 am but then got lazy and went back to sleep. then i woke up an hr later. brought niko to school and didn't wait for him coz i went back for work.

>recieved my 2nd ultimatum from dada!! hope it'll be the last of him!! oh well... i'll be more careful...

meantime..

oh well... things i did since i got back

monday
> uploaded some photos of me and the what had happened during the entire trip

nyt > chatted with phie, choi, and jay... phie misses me badly! oh well... i don't blame him.. i mean her.. i mean.. oh well.. wtf! i don't know what to call this person.. hahaha.. jay, just only wants me to be happy and stick around with them. :)

late nyt til early mornin > had a great time chatting with You. haha.. sorry about being so frank and all. i just felt the urge of saying what's inside my head.

tuesday

morning > brought niko to school and waited for him till he finished

late afternoon > had fun talking with some friends. though i was only away for a few days, i gotta admit. nakakamiss rin silang lahat. oh well.. >mareng noem's, rubie, ate amy, auntie rena, auntie lily, padz, and noni..

until night time > my cousin, Lyka showed up @ the plant. brought her to bb's place and had a blast chitchatting with em.. the two are so inseperable.. oh well.. finally i was able to give my gift to noni!! it's been a long time since i last saw him... hahaha... he's such a good friend. :)

bogoshipta! (i miss you!)

ijen nan manni sarameul bogoshipunyo!! naege niga jongmal bogoshipta saekkiya!! tto nan bogoshibyeon naui ch'in-guga ya gu, naui kajok-iga ya gu, tto naui chinchirhan sa'chon imnida (chonghyongje)... grrrr!! jal ka yo!!!

translation:

i've been missing a lot of people lately. i so fucking miss you so much!! and i miss my friends, my family and most especially my closest cousins... grrrr!! take care.

oh well... i'm hoping to see ya'll soon... pretty soon... hehe.. and when we do, well... beats me what will happen next.

a peep in my thoughts

i hope you like it.. it fits perfectly well... hahaha...

Re: what?!

talaga lang ha?? if you say so..

Part 2

L to R: Choi, Juan, Niko, Phie, and Me

I'm gonna miss these guys!! thanks for giving me the best days of my life during the entire trip!! sa uulitin!

One day with em.... was and will always be the best days of my fucking life!

i never thought i'd say this one day but i had fun spending time with the peeps here! it was and will always be the best day ever! i can't wait for october 4!

here are some of the pixies we took.. location: MLA, ESPAÑA. 
my best day spent with Choi, Phie, and Juan.. sabit nalang si Niko... hahaha...:p  but we all had our fun moments here..

L to R: Juan (manoy), Phie, Jay, Me, and Niko

Choi, ingatan mo si Niko! Taknayduna! Taksyapo!! Hahahaha!

hahaha! sa uulitin my dears! 4am>flight back to reality! the living Hell! hahaha.. oh wtf! there's still October 4 coming up!!! hahaha!

Hah!

who wants to be fucking played??

Reality Bites!

I DON'T LIKE BEING PLAYED, TOYED, BETRAYED, STABBED AT THE BACK, LIED TO AND BEING GIVEN "WORDS WITHOUT MEANING" !!! I'VE HAD IT WITH THAT SHIT!!! 5 YEARS BABY!!! 5 FREAKIN' FUCKING YEARS!!! HOW'S THAT FOR A FREAKIN' REMINDER??? HAH!!!

Touchdown!!

Exxxcussse MMMeee Ladies and Gents... But, BeautifuLL has arrived!

airport>trinoma (red mango!! yum yum! :D)>dara pac (bf and lunch is served!!)>dara luchie>touchdown!!

and now, i'm gonna take a shower and "sleep in" the shower tonight! :) coz it's freakin' hotttt in here!!!

>20:33 dinner @ Phie's place! 2nd touchdown!) it's so good to see Phie again! I missed Phie sooo verrry mmmuuuccchhh!!! and my dear other sister, Thie. damn!!! i miss Phie more than... hehe... well... nevermind about that.. he might just say to me: " Talk to the hand modafucka! " :D  hahahaha.... sorry... mian... but... truth hurts... reality bites... and life is nothing more but a modafuckin bitch!!! ... and it gets even better (the opposite i mean) everyday. <3

Love lots <3

On the Go!

Leaving already for Manila!!! Why don't i feel so excited??? :(

The class clown???

brought Nikolai to school this morning.. he's so funny when he's around his class!  ma'am g would always tell me how much of class clown he is... haha..  :D  i never thought he'd turn out to be the "clown of the class," always thought of him as "the smart kid with an attitude."  haha :D

after his class, we went over ate noemi's (mare) place and stayed there for about an hour or so... drank coke and he played with the toys there like as if it was his... oh well... kids these days. but i'm happy he enjoyed every bit of it!


went home... took a shower... changed into comfy clothes (honestly, i wanted to wear my pj's to work but i doe wanna get fired yet! haha :P) ... went straight to work... walked halfway to Uncle B's house till I saw Gramps walking towards me... we talked while walking me back to the gate and i was insistingly asking him that i'd walk him home.. but he's stubborn... oh well...  stubborn but cool.. <3

sheche's fine.. she's doing good now, but both her parents are taking her to school and picking her up from school now.... hahaha... oh well... Amtaguroy!! hahaha... :D

shit!! i have to pack up my shit for tomorrow... no shirts, just a pair of pants, a few socks, my favorite sneakers, sandals, what else?? oh yeah, toiletries and a HUGE bag! my clothes here are overflowing!!! who wants to buy em?? their for FREE!!! haha...  <3

bad weather?

gosh! yesterday afternoon, intensity 3 earthquake shook us here. waaah! it's a good thing no one got hurt and the plant where i was in working at didn't collapse!! :O

what's worst about the weather now is it keeps on fluctuating.. sometimes its cool and sometimes it's super cold. or.. sometimes it's just right and sometimes it's warm... but now, it's just so so... SUPER HOT! i've taken my shirt off but still, it's super hot in here!!! WTF!!! :((

trip - cdo/bali/butuan

i had a blast spendin time with my family... tho our stay there was short-lived, i still had fun! but i'm really missing ji-eun right now!!! hoping to get back there by dec. i just hope marv won't be around... hehe...

Another Trip

my cousin just emailed me. reminding me of an anniversary our family (in my mother side) is about to have this coming weekend. i think i've had enough of

trips

already. oh well... i wanna rest!! i need some REST!!!

i don't feel like going to places this weekend. coz i've had enough of it. i just got home from a long but short-lived trip about 3 days to be exact, and it was exhausting!! so now, i think i'm gonna pass with

trips

. :p

Angels Cry

I shouldn't have walked away
I would've stayed if you said
We could have made everything OK but we just
Threw the blame back and forth
We treated love like a sport
The final blow hit so low
I'm still on the ground

I couldn't have prepared myself for this fall
Shattered in pieces curled on the floor
Supernatural love conquers all
'member we used to touch the sky
And

*
Lightning don't strike the same place twice
When you and I said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
We let it drift in a storm
Every night I feel the angels cry
**
C'mon babe can our love be revived?
Bring it back and we goin' make it right
I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive
As the angels cry
I thought we'd be forever and always
You were serenity, you took away the bad days
Didn't always treat you right but it was OK
I do something stupid and you still stay with me

But you can only go for so long
Doing the one you claim to love wrong
Before too much is enough you look up
Find your love gone and

We were so good together
How come we could not weather this storm and just do better?
Why did we say good bye?
Cause

(*)(**)

Baby, I'm missing you
Don't allow love to lose
We gotta ride it through
I'm reaching for you

Baby, I'm missing you
Don't allow love to lose
We gotta ride it through
I'm reaching for you


Lightning don't strike the same place twice
When you and I said good bye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
But we let it slip in a storm
Now every night I feel the angels cry..


Fin

Chibe

yeepee! after a long trip, we're finally home! i'm so glad to be back here! :)

although, we almost got ourselves in an accident for about 7 times, thanks to my dada's driving skills. ang bilis kasi magpatakbo! oh well.. so all i did during the entire trip is calm myself down and pick myself everytime. haha! hilarious, isn't it?

A month of Happiness

July 24th, 2010 -- i never thought i'd meet a guy so caring, so thoughtful, so understanding and so loving, so real a person. he's so funny in so many ways. he cheers me up when i the least thing i need is just a shoulder to cry on. nevertheless, he brightens my day. i never thought i'd find such a guy in him.

nanun jongmal haengbokkesseo neol ttemune ijen. direct translation: because of you, i'm so happy now. :)

IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, BAFFLE THEM WITH BULLSHIT