Wednesday, April 09, 2014

emozioni inesplorate

Posso cose, ha detto o fatto cose per farti del male. Ma non era appena uscito di impulso o fuori lo sfiato fuori i miei sentimenti feriti e finiscono per voi rovinando nel processo - rovinando si era l'ultima delle mie intenzioni. Era davvero fuori amore e rispetto (per voi). Si può non capire che ora perché sei così così così emotivamente guidato con il suo rapporto con mio fratello, ma sono esattamente come la maggior parte delle persone che avrebbe tollerato l'immoralità sessuale in casa nostra. Non me ne frega se voi farsi male o capi di quello che a causa di ciò che ho detto, signora!!! Non sei piu ' un ragazzino! Che significa, devi essere più consapevoli e sicuramente più attenta delle vostre azioni. È possibile "unfriend" me tutto che vuoi, ma che sarà mai cambiare come ti vedo come una persona e più in particolare, come una donna..--cioè se sei uno.

Se siete davvero sono interessati, allora sapete cosa fare e soprattutto sai come dirlo. Perché ho avuto più responsabilità in un arco di 3 mesi (gennaio-marzo di quest'anno) che potrai mai sapere. Quindi se pensi che sei sul lato destro, GUESS nuovo!!!

Non darmi tue stronzate drammatica! Non intrattengo tale mentalità delinquenziale più e io non stavo allevato in questo modo entrambi. Va bene?

Infine, non compromettono il mio standard per artisti del calibro di voi!!

#responsabilità
#riflessione
#la pena di lodare donna

Friday, April 04, 2014

The "Right" Norms

A few days ago, I got pissed at this girl and had these evil thoughts of breaking her to pieces emotionally. I got threatened by the range and the rate she's done and achieved in our family.  Personally, I don't like her for my brother--regardless of age and whatnot.  I really don't see this "future" of theirs that they may or might have referred to.


The state of mind of such a person--an "unbeliever" (not a Christian); it's okay to be sexually immoral sometimes, especially at your dad's house--annoys and irritates me.  The fact that she pretended not to notice my reactions and the pre-tense "confusion" of the sin" she had done to me. The way she addresses she doesn't have or just don't want to know or see what it is or was astounds me. Her imperfections literally makes me want to burst into laughter. The kind that deeply scrutinizes and emphasizes the faults of unfamiliar terrains. How insulting, I know.

I hate how she had turned my dad into this apathetic mediocre man--unintentionally or unconsciously or worst, the opposite-- whom I, personally, used to look up to.  Fortunately, I have realized that I shouldn't have looked up to such people and just remain calm look up and be secured in God alone.

The fact that I have inflicted such "acclaimed pains" and "ruined' "her reputation" -- whatever that is-- makes me want to burst (into laughter, literally) even more!!! 

I have kept myself shut of this matter for a span of 3 mos, thinking "this too shall past".  Hoping for a better start every time. Unfortunately, things have appeared out of the norm and out of hand. For 3 long mos, I have been keeping myself accountable to my mentors and spiritual family and friends asking for advises and prayers. Until that very day had arrived. 

I am not sorry to have hurt her. Hurting her feelings was the last thing that I wanted to do.

This is actually a wake up call.  A notice. That I am more deeply hurt in these matters more than anyone else in the premises.  I, however, had no intentions of stating names in that previous comment on my wall post in my facebook account. I just stated facts. 

This kind of norm, however, is UNACCEPTABLE & UNFORGIVEABLE in the eyes of God. Don't just look at the logs and the many great levels of planks of my shortcomings and faults in the past. Cause the past is THE PAST.  Try to see things differently.  We're not the only ones at the premises. Remember there's also a child who see things differently from us.  And I for one, do not want him to imitate or emulate your irresponsibility and you unaccountable actions. Let it be stated here.

I wish not to be a peace with the world.  As Paul once stated, "Love the Light and Hate the world... Do not conform with the ways of this corrupt generation (the world)."

Finally, I am no longer and have no longer and most importantly, will no longer look for happiness in places, especially in material things. One thing is for certain, I have found JOY.  and happiness...is elusive because it's circumstantial. Unlike Joy. It's permanent.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

The month of January of this Year

           I finally met the guy who had all my written non-negotiable traits. Unfortunately, he turned out to be in love with someone else. What's even worst is that I even lied to him into making him think that I was in love with someone else. How awful can I get? 
   
         As I listen to him talking about his love for this girl, every word coming from him felt like a dagger to my heart. Part of me was screaming and telling me to say, "Please stop. It's too much.. I can no longer bear hearing your story. (and then just walk out)" Meanwhile, the other part just wants to keep listening to him say every little detail of it. I even gave him Lasagna and a book--that he intently returned for me to read first. haha. Funny thing was, I haven't really read the book that time, just thought of giving it to him instead. Hahaha... But I think that was my charm: to give something to people without even caring "what's in it" or "what's it all about"

           This was the month that really struck me--the month that gave me Typhoid Fever for four excruciating days and made me feel more insignificant in the family. But this was also the saddest month that I have ever encountered in my life. I never thought I would find someone whom I could connect with in that certain level -- a godly level, the kind of friendship or chemistry wherein you've only met for a few weeks and feels like you've been friends for so long-- only to find out that that kind of love that I sought can not be mine. Or worst, can NEVER BE MINE.  

           I never intended to fall in love with him.  It wasn't even part of the planIt just happened. Slowly, as days gone by, I wasn't aware of what I was getting myself into. Love. 

         Nevertheless, I remain faithful to God and pray that things will work out between us just as it was like back then. Though I know that what was back then can never repeat itself the second time around. I'll still pray for things to come: friendship will rekindle and hopefully, our communication would return to how it was back then. 'Coz I really miss him. I miss talking to him, knowing how he's doing and the conversations we use to share. Please don't think of it the wrong way. It's just that, I haven't a single text from him since that day. 


        I hope he's doing well.  If God hears my prayers one of these days, that'll be the best gift ever! For now, I'll just keep on waiting. Praying. And hoping for his return.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

mere coincidence or a sign to regret? (Part One)

            While on our way back home from our overnight trip last night I was listening to my iPod.  I do this like every time we have trips to the province or in Bali, just to keep my mind preoccupied and from keeping me from throwing up while on the road.  What surprised me the most is how the songs were shuffled in my iPod.  I don't know whether it was just a mere coincidence or a sign to regret pushing that 'person' in the past or something.  It just gave me the creeps.  Darn it!  What could this mean?? Should I even start regretting it now, now that 'that person' has another person in that person's life now.  WTF!

          I couldn't sleep after hearing these songs. I'll tell you in Part Two why they're something significant about these songs to me. Yawa jud! Animal! Anyway, here they are... Hope you enjoy! (well, not as much I did!)


































but... he was kinda hoping that it was ..






then again... it's not.

Friday, December 30, 2011

어디 있어요?

오빠 어디 겄어요? 어디 갔은데? Asan ka na aking mahal? Saan ka nagpunta at kelan kang muling magbabalik sa akin?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Memories

I miss "us"! I miss "you"! I wish you know how much it hurt me when you left and still treated me that way. If you only knew. I'm still not over you, over "us". And that I STILL LOVE YOU! As crazy and ridiculous as it may sound, it's true. Walang halung biro. Mahal parin kita hanggang ngayon hayop ka!! But what can someone like me do foe you to understand me? You never understand me!! Everywhere I go, I only see you.

Monday, November 07, 2011

3-day trips

it's been a long time since i last posted. anyway, the other day we arrived to this warm place called CDO with my dad and my son. then this afternoon, my cousins and i and my son went to see a movie. Praybeyt Benjamin. It's a very funny movie!! hahaha!! thumbs up! but i don't think i wanna watch it again. i'm not much of a fan of the lead gay actor. oh well... and tomorrow, we're leaving. we're going back home.

the thing about 3-day trips is that you don't get that much out of that trip.. how i wish we could stay here a lil longer. oh well... hmmm...

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

longing for someone or something?

guess i'm just lonely that's why i'm acting and feeling this way.  it's just that it's been a long time since i had real chat with a pal.  feels like a millenia or a century. idk. and to make things even more worse than being sick, i'm missing someone i haven't even met!!! personally, i mean. oh well. things just get better and better! keep 'em coming!! wtf!

My Precious - Jang Geun Seok

수줍은 그의 속삭임 스며드는 귓가에
소복하게 쌓여가는 우리들의 이야기
서로를 바라보며 살아가는
참 어리석고 예쁜 모습들
타박타박 걸어가는 나지막한 골목길
틈 사이로 비춰오는 한 모금의 햇살처럼
무엇조차 알 수 없던 나에게
작은 꿈하나를 심어주는 너

my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
가시같았던 기억들이 흔적도 없이 사라질만큼 따뜻하게
my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
작은 한아름조차 소중히 간직하게 될 것만 같은 이런 설레임

기분 좋은 바람에 스치는 옷 깃 위로
부서지는 너의 눈빛 두손을 모아 담으며
철 없이 그저 순수했던 말들이
내 가슴 위로 전해져 온다
유난히 간절했던 잃어버린 내 바램들
머뭇머뭇 주억이다 한 숨 짓고 돌아서며
혼자서만 남겨질 것 같았던
내 두 손을 꼭 잡아주는너

my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
부서질것만같던 가슴을 말 없이 쓰다듬어 줬던 너의 손길
my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
너만 곁에 있다면 무엇도 해낼 수 있을 것만같은 이런 설레임

my precious (어떤 햇살보다 따뜻한)
my precious (어떤 보석보다 찬란한)
부서질 것만 같던 가슴을 말 없이 쓰다듬어 줬던 너의 손길
my precious (어떤 하늘보다 깨끗한)
my precious (어떤 유리보다 투명한)
너만 곁에 있다면 무엇도 해낼 수 있을 것만 같은 이런 설레임

my precious..


romanization:

sujubeun geuui soksagim seumyeodeuneun gwitgae
sobokhage ssahyeoganeun urideurui iyagi
seororeul barabomyeo saraganeun
cham eoriseokgo yeppeun moseupdeul
tabaktabak georeoganeun najimakhan golmokgil
teum sairo bichwooneun han mogeumui haessalcheoreom
mueotjocha al su eopdeon naege
jageun kkumhanareul simeojuneun neo

my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
gasigatatdeon gieokdeuri heunjeokdo eobsi sarajilmankeum ttatteutage
my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
jageun hanareumjocha sojunghi ganjikhage doel geotman gateun ireon seolleim

gibun joheun barame seuchineun ot git wiro
buseojineun neoui nunbit dusoneul moa dameumyeo
cheol eobsi geujeo sunsuhaetdeon maldeuri
nae gaseum wiro jeonhaejyeo onda
yunanhi ganjeolhaetdeon irheobeorin nae baraemdeul
meomutmeomut jueogida han sum jitgo doraseomyeo
honjaseoman namgyeojil geot gatatdeon
nae du soneul kkok jabajuneunneo

my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
buseojilgeotmangatdeon gaseumeul mal eobsi sseudadeumeo jwotdeon neoui songil
my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
neoman gyeote itdamyeon mueotdo haenael su isseul geotmangateun ireon seolleim

my precious (eotteon haessalboda ttatteutan)
my precious (eotteon boseokboda challanhan)
buseojil geotman gatdeon gaseumeul mal eobsi sseudadeumeo jwotdeon neoui songil
my precious (eotteon haneulboda kkaekkeutan)
my precious (eotteon yuriboda tumyeonghan)
neoman gyeote itdamyeon mueotdo haenael su isseul geotman gateun ireon seolleim

my precious..


Friday, June 03, 2011

hmmm...

i miss him!! how i wish we could really see each other and just hang out. i hate it when we're just communicating through cellphones and not personally. argh! hmmm.. i wish we could talk. just talk over coffee and beer or something. hehe.. siyempre. dapat me kasamang kain. hehe

ingatz always ha?

Thursday, May 26, 2011

crash!

i miss hanging out with him. he left for manila early this morning. hmmm.. didn't even bother to text me if he got there safely or not. grrr! i don't know why i gave him the heirloom my dead cousin gave me years ago last night. i don't know what got into me. hmm.. cousin must've told me so.. oh i don't know. but i know one day i'll find out why. i hope.

i can't seem to get over the mem'ries he left me. it left a mark on me.. scars.. deep scars.. they weren't bad mem'ries though but good ones. the best i ever had! i miss him.. badly.. i hate missing people though coz i can't sleep or think right. argh! this isn't good. oh well... time for me to go home now and to go to sleep.

songs for the day

Sunday, May 22, 2011

confused? trying to make sense of it all

i am so confused here! i don't know what to do anymore. there's someone in my thoughts that i can't seem to get over. ugh!! this is bad! this is very bad!! i've fallen... fallen big time! argh!! and i kept telling myself not to...


coz in the eyes of many, this is wrong. a sin maybe. well one pretty good sin, i might add. haha. oh well...

what the fuck am i doing??? should i tell him or should i just let this pass??? grrrr!! ottokke?? ottokajyo? what to do?? what to do??? what should i do???

Saturday, May 21, 2011

MY BUCKETLIST

1. JUST BE ME without worrying about what other people may think of me or say about me.
2. Be FREE
3. to have all my compositions recorded
4. to have my own concert on my birthday next year
5. meet, greet, and collab music with usher & ryan cayabyab, etc
6. perform on stage with my musical inspirations
7. a swim with the sharks (in a cage or in an aquarium)
8. go to africa to observe nature
9. pet a wild cat in africa with a good friend or with a clique (if i have one!)
10. visit and pray in all temples of japan and korea
11. climb the himalayas with a special someone (new or old friend or hmmm...hehe)
12. learn how to speak italian, korean and jap fluently
13. taj mahal
14. go to Boracay, Batanes and Palawan with someone special
15. canada: pay a visit to my godparents and major; minnesota: pay a visit to our relatives
16. go visit my sisters in the states and in australia
17. be happy and contented with life!!
18. learn how to forgive
19. learn how to forget
20. learn how to be REALLY HAPPY and stay happy as long as possible

21. meet someone inspiring

The Bitch Who Gives Clues As To How She Really Feels For Just About Everyone!

If I Hate You, then I'll either slap you with my words or literally slap you in the face, turn around and walk away from you.


If I Like You, then I'll answer all your questions directly no strings attached. I may kiss you passionately, but then, that'll just be like a smack for me.


If I Love You, I won't say it. Though I'll just keep informing you how i'm doing through text or email. I'll Let You Kiss Me passionately but that'll just be it. I won't let you Fuck Me. I maybe a Bitch, But This Bitch Got Rules! Ya Feelin' Me?


But If I've Fallen In Love With You, I Won't Say It Directly To Your Face. Only I'll send you a text message that says:


You Won't See Me Anymore Cause I'm Never Coming Back

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Heartache

how long must i keep loving you?
how much time do you think we have
  before you realize, before you notice that i'm no longer by your side?

because you know, i'll be trying to move on
  even though i can't carry on living like this
to your eyes, it may seem that i am happy and alive
but that's a lie! just a lie!

how many tears must i shed for you (my heart) in order to break free?
how many lies must i keep telling myself (i'm alright) when the lie itself is killing me?

cause when a heart is aching, nothing seems to matter anymore
and while you're trying to mend it, everything just pains through your soul

how long must i keep loving you?
how long must i even care?
how long must i keep paining through whenever i see you're no longer there?

because you know, i'm trying to move on
  even though i can't carry on living like this
and to your eyes, it may appear that i am happy and alive
but that's a lie! just a lie!

cause when a heart is aching, nothing seems to matter anymore
and while you're trying to mend it, everything just pains through your soul
cause when your heart is aching, when your heart is breaking, life doesn't seem to be life anymore
and while you're trying to mend, trying to rebuild, the more you fall, sinking to the floor...

cause when your heart is aching, when your heart is breaking, life doesn't seem to matter anymore
and while you're trying to mend, keep trying to rebuild it, the more you fall, sinking to the floor...

fin

Sunday, May 01, 2011

HARSH REALITY

falling can sometimes be a good thing. it feels great. your days seem complete and secure and your nights aren't that cold anymore. but other times, it's not. it's awful. it hurts so much it makes you wanna regret. it hurts so much that it makes you wished you hadn't. 
 ironic, isn't it? yeah... tell me about it.

nan sarangeul molla



the pains of falling apart because of falling in love....

Thursday, April 28, 2011

best days spent...

best days i've ever had was with this person. and he doesn't even know that i've been in love with him since i first laid eyes on him. hehe.

4th graders. that was the very first time i saw him. hehe. i kept telling myself to be attracted to this other guy because he was cuter and all, but i know i wasn't fooling anyone. especially me. hehe. and i told most of our classmates a false crush. hehe. ayaw umamin eh noh? hehe.. and tindi mo teh!! 

anyway, there's only one specific reason why i liked this guy.HE WAS HIM. i remember making a promise to myself on that very day, that if this guy stood up to me one day and professed his love for me, i'd make him wait for two weeks and then say "yes." haven't forgotten about it ever since. though i was just a kid then, i knew what i was saying.

as years passed by, i've had a few ups and downs, a few relationships and now a son. however, i had never forgotten about him. never. no. never. i had always kept that memory with me wherever i go and whoever i was with. that's why i'd always turned them all down. it was all because of this boy. this guy who showed up on the eve of my birthday of this very year. 

I'm keeping this promise with me. i'm not afraid anymore. so don't be as well.. yeah i know i lied to you guys. i had to! sekreto nga eh, diba? ^^

keep falling

i've fallen for you already and it's makin' me feel scared cause
it's been such a long time since someone has made me feel this way
but i don't want to belong in your arms (no, not yet)
cause in the end i know i'll be the only one who'll be hurt

still there's something about you that's still making me doubt
don't even ask me why cause i'm still trying to figure that one out
it's drivin' me crazy cause you keep poppin' up in my head
and i hate what i'm feeling inside of me, but..

* i cannot help it
no matter how hard i try, still i
i'm still falling for you
and it's making me feel like a fool
and i feel so helpless
cause no matter how hard i distract myself, still i
i keep falling for you
oh, what am i to do?
i'm falling in love with you

fin

Friday, March 11, 2011

por una cabeza

just finished practicing the violin. well.. an hour ago. man! does my left shoulder hurt!! hmm...  this vid that i'm currently watching is so addictive, i can't seem to get my eyes off this guys fingers!! he's good! waaah!

hope i could play this one feb of next yr!!! awesome!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdZW7Hd8J8A

Friday, January 28, 2011

울고싶단말야- 박재범 (Jay Park) & 용감한형제(Brave Brothers)

Please don't cry
uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
uh uh uh uh
uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
uh uh uh uh I want you baby

나 지금 울고 싶단 말야
너 땜에 울고 싶단 말야
힘들어 울고 싶단 말야
예전처럼 웃고 싶단 말야
또다시 울고 있단 말야 나 울고 있단 말야 babe
내 지친 사랑이 니 거친 바람이
나 두려워 나 두려워 너 없는 시간이

내 모든 것을 줬어 날 울리는 너
가슴에 심장은 없어 뻥 뚫린 구멍
앞길이 너무 어두워 난 두려워 나 두려워
너 없이 미래가 안 보여 나 무서워 나 무서워
I got you baby girl
I love you are the one
I got you baby girl
나 그 무엇도 필요없어 날 떠나지마

나 지금 울고 싶단 말야
너 땜에 울고 싶단 말야
힘들어 울고 싶단 말야
예전처럼 웃고 싶단 말야
또다시 울고 있단 말야 나 울고 있단 말야 babe
내 지친 사랑이 니 거친 바람이
나 두려워 나 두려워 너 없는 시간이

니가 떠나간 순간부터
내가 없어 가슴이 너무 아파
이제 외로운 난 홀로
슬픔의 눈물 맨손으로 닦아
넌 내가 있어야 할 곳
다른 데는 절대 가지를 못해
제발 내 옆에 있어줘
너 없인 난 용감하지도 못해
I got you baby girl
I love you are the one
I got you baby girl
나 그 무엇도 필요없어 내 곁에 있어줘

나 지금 울고 싶단 말야
너 땜에 울고 싶단 말야
힘들어 울고 싶단 말야
예전처럼 웃고 싶단 말야
또다시 울고 있단 말야 나 울고 있단 말야 babe
내 지친 사랑이 니 거친 바람이
나 두려워 난 두려워 너 없는 시간이
사랑한단 말도 못해 목이 메여와
I just want to come back my girl
내 가슴 찢어져 너밖에 모르는 나였기에
돌아올 순 없는거니 다시 올 수 없는거니
나 지금 여기서 너만을 기다리잖아

나 지금 울고 싶단 말야
너 땜에 울고 싶단 말야
힘들어 울고 싶단 말야
예전처럼 웃고 싶단 말야
또다시 울고 있단 말야 나 울고 있단 말야 babe
내 지친 사랑이 니 거친 바람이
나 두려워 난 두려워 너 없는 시간이

Sunday, January 09, 2011

Concierto?!

Feb 12 -- is the date!! Can't wait!! Yeepee! Concierto!! Wish me Luck!

i hope there would be a door opening for me by then or afterwards, i mean. i really need this! this would be my big break. i'm planning on joining some competitions online. hope i get picked. still haven't recorded.. wahhh! i've gotta hurry up and fast! ppalrae!! hehe..

Monday, December 27, 2010

worst month ever!!! :((

this has been the worst month ever!

why?

here's why:

1. i suffered from an allergy that affected my right eye (but i got over it)

2. i fainted during work then sprained my left foot

and now,

3. i've got the allergies again! this time it's not my eyes. it's my neck. it's burning and i'm having a hard time sleeping. grrr!!

i wish i get well before jan 3 comes. hmmm... oh well.

hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Season's Greetings!

Merry Christmas everyone!!

hope everyone is doing well. hmm.. i still haven't finished wrapping some of my "gifts/regalo" for my family.

well.. forgive me this once but this year hasn't been that good for me. coz things didn't quite go as planned. oh well. talk about yesterday. i fainted during work and didn't realize i sprained my left foot when i regained my consciousness. oh well.. how awful can this day get?! so my elder brother/kuya brought me back home to give me some meds coz there were none @ the plant. anyway, i slept the whole morning and went back to work in the afternoon. geez!! my left foot really hurt like HELL! up till now, it still does. i don't know if i can make through church, just standing all throughout the sermon and all. ugh!! how awful, right? oh well... hope i make through this..

wish me luck! post some comments if you'd like. i'd much appreciate it. kamsahamnida.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

finally...

na gwenchanimnida!! finally!!! i can now sleep well... well.. still have to undergo one eye operation. not sure when tho. still have to get myself checked by another doctor. oh well...

헤어지러 가는 길

헤어지러 가는 길 널 버리려 하는 일
Heeojireo ganeun gil neol beoriryeo haneun il
니 가슴 아픈 만큼 내 가슴도 아플 걸 알지만
Ni gaseum apeun mankeum nae gaseumdo apeul geol aljiman
이게 나아서 하는 일
Ige naaseo haneun il

내 마음이 맨날 내 생각만 하던 마음이
Nae maeumi maennal nae saenggangman hadeon maeumi
처음으로 너를 위해서 하는 일을 그런 일을 하러 가는 길
Cheoeumeuro neoreul wihaeseo haneun ireul geureon ireul hareo ganeun gil

널 만나러 가는 길 너무나 행복한 일
Neol mannareo ganeun gil neomuna haengbokhan il
그 동안 못해줬던 소중한 말 한마디 사랑해
Geu dongan mothaejwotdeon sojunghan mal hanmadi saranghae
그 말을 하러 가는 길
Geu mareul hareo ganeun gil

너무 늦은 걸 알아 그래 늦은 걸 알아
Neomu neujeun geol ara geurae neujeun geol ara
이미 내 맘은 니 곁을 떠났는 걸
Imi nae mameun ni gyeoteul tteonanneun geol
내 사랑은 넘치는 걸
Nae sarangeun neomchineun geol
이제야 말하지만 내 진심이니까
Ijeya malhajiman nae jinsiminikka
꼭 받아주길 바래
Kkok badajugil barae

헤어지러 가는 길 널 만나러 가는 길
Heeojireo ganeun gil neol mannareo ganeun gil
내가 위하는 만큼 너도 날 위하는 걸 알기에
Naega wihaneun mankeum neodo nal wihaneun geol algie
지금 가고 있어
Jigeum gago isseo

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=j+lim+ft+jo+kwon+-+the+road+to+breaking+up

Saturday, December 11, 2010

:(

still have the allergies. it gotten worst as i feared. oh well. i hope i get through this. i've been on sick leave this past few days except i had to come in this morning due to my dada's special request. well what i can do but follow as my "oppa/big brother" has a meeting somewhere in gensan. grrr!!! i can't take this allergy no more!!!


nuni apayo!!! huhuhu!!! toajuseyo!!

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

고백하던날

어떻게 말할까 수백번 생각하느라
eotteoke malhalkka subaekbeon saenggakhaneura
잠 을 설쳐서 얼굴도 엉망이고
jameul seolchyeoseo eolguldo eongmangigo
오늘따 라 머리까지 맘에 안들어
oneulttara meorikkaji mame andeureo
하루종일 안절부절
harujongil anjeolbujeol

어느새 너를 만나기 한 시간전
eoneusae neoreul mannagi han siganjeon
꽃집에 들러 꽃을 좀사려는데
kkocchibe deulleo kkocheul jomsaryeoneunde
장밀살까 다른꽃살까
jangmilsalkka dareunkkotsalkka
에라 모르겟다 아줌마 이쁘게 해주세요
era moreugetda ajumma ippeuge haejuseyo

오늘은 널 만나면 이쁘다고 말하려 했는데
oneureun neol mannamyeon ippeudago malharyeo haenneunde
얼굴보자마자 내가 꽃샀으니까 니가 밥사
eolgulbojamaja naega kkotsasseunikka niga bapsa
어쩜 이런 말만 나와
eojjeom ireon malman nawa

도대체 멍청한건지 아님 순진한건지
dodaeche meongcheonghangeonji anim sunjinhangeonji
이렇 게 한심한 말만 튀어나와
ireoke hansimhan malman twieonawa
사실은 내가 하려했던 말은 말야
sasireun naega haryeohaetdeon mareun mallya
난 널 사랑해
nan neol saranghae

밤새워 연습했던말 다 잊어버리고
bamsaewo yeonseuphaetdeonmal da ijeobeorigo
멋없이 그냥 건넨 꽃다발에도
meoseobsi geunyang geonnen kkottabaredo
밝게 웃어주던 많이 좋아하던 넌 천사야
barkge useojudeon manhi johahadeon neon cheonsaya
you are my angel


밥먹고 이런 저런 얘길나누며
bammeokgo ireon jeoreon yaegillanumyeo
언제 말할까 기회만 엿보다가
eonje malhalkka gihoeman yeotbodaga
지금할까 지금이야 사실 나 이젠 아무것도 안들려
jigeumhalkka jigeumiya sasil na ijen amugeotdo andeullyeo

내맘은 너 아니면 안된다고 말하려 하는데
naemameun neo animyeon andoendago malharyeo haneunde
둘 다 외로운데 한번 만나볼래
dul da oerounde hanbeon mannabollae
계속이런말만 나와
gyesogireonmalman nawa

도 대체 멍청한 건지 아님 순진한건지
dodaeche meongcheonghan geonji anim sunjinhangeonji
이렇게 한심한 말만 튀어나와
ireoke hansimhan malman twieonawa
사실은 내가하려 했던 말은 말야
sasireun naegaharyeo haetdeon mareun mallya
난 널 사랑해
nan neol saranghae

밤 새워 연습했던 말 다 잊어버리고
bamsaewo yeonseuphaetdeon mal da ijeobeorigo
멋 없이 그냥 건넨 내 고백에도
meoseobsi geunyang geonnen nae gobaegedo
밝게 웃어주며 고갤 끄덕여준 넌 천사야
barkge useojumyeo gogael kkeudeogyeojun neon cheonsaya
you are my angel


널 사랑해 널 사랑해 밤새 연습하고 하지 못한말
neol saranghae neol saranghae bamsae yeonseuphago haji motanmal
널 좋아해 널 사랑해 꼭 해주고 싶던 말
neol johahae neol saranghae kkok haejugo sipdeon mal

oh 도대체 멍청한 건지 아님 순진한 건지
oh dodaeche meongcheonghan geonji anim sunjinhan geonji
이렇게 한심한 말만 튀어나와
ireoke hansimhan malman twieonawa
사실은 내가 하려 했던 말은 말야
sasireun naega haryeo haetdeon mareun mallya
난 널 사랑해
nan neol saranghae

밤 새워 연습했던 말 다 잊어버리고
bamsaewo yeonseuphaetdeon mal da ijeobeorigo
멋 없이 그냥 건넨 내 고백에도
meoseobsi geunyang geonnen nae gobaegedo
밝게 웃어주며 고갤 끄덕여준 넌 천사야
barkge useojumyeo gogael kkeudeogyeojun neon cheonsaya

you are my angel
you are my angel
내가 더 잘할게
naega deo jalhalge


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RDL27jScLU


(i dorae saranghamnida!!! i love this song!!! so much!!! 난 널 사랑해!!)

enjoy watching!! ^_^

어떡하죠?

두근거렸죠 하지만 그대가 아닌 그사람 때문이라는 게 너무나 아팠죠
요즘 그대가 날 바라봐줄 때마다 난 그 사람 이 떠올라요

정말 미안해요 나 그대를 만난 건 내 인생에서 가장 큰 행운이 맞는데
난 바본가 봐요 어쩔 수가 없네요 계속 그 사람이 떠올라요

오 난 며칠 동안 잊으려 해봐도 잘 안돼요
***
어떡하죠 계속 그대의 얼굴에서 난 그 사람의 얼굴이 보여요
이러면 안 된다고 다그쳐봐도 그 게 잘 안돼요 난
어떡하죠 나 그대의 목소리에서 그 사람의 목소리가 들려요
이미 내 마음은 그댈 떠나 그 사람을 사랑하나 봐요

그댈 만나서 같이 있는 시간에도 그곳에 그 사람이 있을까 눈치를 봤죠
그대와 함께 길을 걸어갈 때에도 그 사람이 볼까 두려웠죠

이러면 안되죠 나 안되는거 아는데 그대에게 사랑한단 말이 어색해져요
그대는 나에게 최선을 다해주는데 지금 난 그럴 수 가 없어요
오 난 그댈 다시 사랑하려 해봐도 안돼요

*** 반복

나 영원히 그대 곁에서 그댈 지키고 싶었는데
내 마음이 자꾸 그대가 아닌 그 사람을 찾아요

***반복

이 노래

예쁜 목걸일 사주고 싶지만 멋진 차를 태워주고 싶지만
예쁜 옷을 입혀주고 싶지만 오 난 좋은 곳에 데려가고 싶지만

주머니에 넣은 손엔 잡히는 게 없는데 어떻게 널 잡을 수가 있어
내 생활은 너에게 어울리질 않는데 그래도 내 곁에 있어주겠니

***
줄 수 있는 게 이 노래밖에 없다 가진 거라곤 이 목소리밖에 없다
이게 널 웃게 만들 수 있을진 모르지만 그래도 불러본다 니가 받아주길 바래본다

너는 괜찮다고 말을 하지만 나만 있으면 된다고 하지만
행복하다고 늘 말해 주지만 너는 더 바라는 게 없다고 하지만

예쁘고 좋은 것들 재밌고 멋진 일들 너도 분명히 하고 싶잖아 Baby
내 곁에 있어주면 못하는 걸 알잖아 그래도 내 곁에 있어주겠니

***반복

이 노래밖에 없다 정말 가진게 이 목소리밖에 없다
이게 널 웃게 만들 수 있을진 모르지만
그래도 불러본다 니가 받아주길 바래본다

니가 받아주길 바래본다

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eWE-z_SgrQ

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

친구의 고백

꽤 오래됐어 내 맘이 조금씩 변하기 시작한지
gwae orae dwesseo nae mami jogeumshik byunhagi shijakhanji
혼자서 괴로워한지
honjaseo gwaerohwohanji..
언제부턴가 니가 볼때마다
eonjebuteonga niga bulttaemada
너를 울리는 남자가 너무나 미웠어
neoreul olineun namjaga neomuna miwosseo

차라리 내가 널 지키는 게
charari naega neol jikineun ge
나을지도 모른다는 생각이
naeuljido moreundaneun saenggagi
이제는 내가 널 안아주고
ijeneun naega neol anajugo
사랑해주고 싶단 생각이 들었어
saranghaejugo sipdan saenggagi deuleosseo

Baby 이제는 내게 와
Baby ijeneun naege wa
And Be my lady 너무나 오랫동안
And Be my lady neomuna oraetdongan
지켜봤어 말없이 서서
jikyeobwasseo mareopsi seoseo
안타까운 가슴을 숨기며
antakkaun gaseumeul sumgimyeo
친구로 친구로 지내야 한단 이유로
chin gu ro chin gu ro jinaeya handan iyuro
목까지 차올랐던
mokkagi chaolatdeon
그 고백을 참아야 했어
geu gubaegeul chamaya haesseo
하지만 이제는 고백할께
hajiman ijeneun gobaekhalkke
너를 사랑해
neoreul saranghae

내 손을 잡고 나밖에 없다며
nae soneul japgo nabakke oepdamyeo
나같은 친구를 둔게 정말 큰 축복이라며
nagateun chin gu reul dun ge jeongmal kun juk bo gi ra myeo
변치 말라고 말을 할 때마다
byeon chi malrago mareun hal ttaenada
조금씩 자라나는 내 사랑을 눌렀어
jogeumssik jarananeun dae sarangeul nulleosseo


차라리 내가 널 지키는 게
charari naega neol jikineun ge
나을지도 모른다는 생각이
naeuljido moreundaneun saenggaki
자꾸만 들어 하지만 참았어
jakkuman deuleo hajiman chamasseo
너를 잃어버릴까 두려워 하지만
neoreul ireobeorilkka duryeowo, hajiman...


Baby 이제는 내게 와
Baby ijeneun naege wa
And Be my lady 너무나 오랫동안
And Be my lady neomuna oraetdongan
지켜봤어 말없이 서서
jikyeobwasseo mareopsi seoseo
안타까운 가슴을 숨기며
antakkaun gaseumeul sumgimyeo
친구로 친구로 지내야 한단 이유로
chin gu ro chin gu ro jinaeya handan iyuro
목까지 차올랐던
mokkagi chaolatdeon
그 고백을 참아야 했어
geu gubaegeul chamaya haesseo
하지만 이제는 고백할께
hajiman ijeneun gobaekhalkke
너를 사랑해
neoreul saranghae

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSIgzm_jSGA

(i hope there's someone out there who could tell me these lines: norul saranghae)

웃어 줄 수가 없어서 미안하다

헤 어 지 자
He o ji ja

오늘 무슨 말이라도 내게 하지 말아줘
Oneul museun marirado naege haji marajwo
장난스런 너의 말도 받아줄 수가 없어
jangnanseuron noye maldo badajeul suga obso
사랑하냐는 그 말도 이젠 묻지 말아줘
saranghanyaneun geu maldo ijen mudji marajwo
넌 믿을 수가 없겠지만 나 헤어지려 해
non mideul suga obgejiman na heyojiryeo hae

Oh~ 힘들 때면 안아주던
Oh~ himdeul ddaemyeon anajudeon
아플 때도 감싸주던
apeul ddaedo kamssajudeon
그랬던 내가 그랬던 내가 너와 더이상
keuraetdeon naega keuraetdeon naega nowa do isang

웃어줄 수가 없어서
useojul suga obseoso
미안하다 미안하다 우리 그만 헤어지자
mianhada mianhada uri keuman heojija
웃어줄 수가 없어서
useojul suga obseoso
미안하다 미안하다 우리 그만 헤어지자
mianhada mianhada uri keuman heojija

헤 어 지 자 헤 어 지 자 헤 어 지 자
He o ji ja He o ji ja He o ji ja


너를 보내고서 나도 많이 힘들었어서
noreul bonaegoseo nado manhi himdeureosseoso
이젠 너 없이 혼자서 나도 살아 보려 해
ijen no obshi honjaseo nado sara boryeo hae
잘 지내냐는 그 말도 이젠 묻지 말아줘
jal jinaenyaneun geu maldo ijen mudji marajwo
넌 믿을 수가 없겠지만 나 아주 잘지내
non mideul suga obgetjiman na aju jaljinae


Oh~ 힘들때면 안아주던
Oh~ himdeul ddaemyeon anajudeon
아플때도 감싸주던
apeul ddaedo kamssajudeon
그랬던 내가 그랬던 내가 널 잊어보려 해
keuraetdeon naega keuraetdeon naega nowa do isang

울어줄 수도 없어서
ureojul sudo obseoso
미안하다 미안하다 우리 마주치지 말자
mianhada mianhada uri majuchiji malja
울어줄 수가 없어서
ureojul sudo obseoso
미안하다 미안하다 우리 마주치지 말자
mianhada mianhada uri majuchiji malja


아 닌 데 이 게 난 아 닌 데
a nin de i ge nan a nin de
아 직 도 널 사 랑 하 는 데
a jik do neol sa rang ha neun de
(널 사랑하는데~)
neol sa rang ha neun de

웃어줄 수가 없어서 미안하다
useojul suga obseoso
미안하다 우리 그만 헤어지자
mianhada mianhada uri keuman heojija

헤 어 지 자
He o ji ja

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frgFyrZUoM8

(i hope they make a vid for this song! this is also one of my faves from 2am..
헤 어 지 자?? hehe...)

죽어도 못 보내

어려도 아픈 건 똑같아
세상을 잘 모른다고
아픈걸 모르진 않아
괜찮아 질 거라고
왜 거짓말을 해
이렇게 아픈 가슴이 어떻게 쉽게 낫겠어
너 없이 어떻게 살겠어 그래서 난

죽어도 못 보내
내가 어떻게 널 보내
가려거든 떠나려거든 내 가슴 고쳐내
아프지 않게 나 살아갈 수 라도 있게
안 된다면 어차피 못살 거
죽어도 못 보내

아무리 니가 날 밀쳐도
끝까지 붙잡을 거야
어디도 가지 못하게
정말 갈 거라면 거짓말을 해
내일 다시 만나자고 웃으면서 보자고
헤어지잔 말은 농담이라고 아니면 난

죽어도 못 보내
내가 어떻게 널 보내
가려거든 떠나려거든 내 가슴 고쳐내
아프지 않게 나 살아갈 수 라도 있게
안 된다면 어차피 못살 거
죽어도 못 보내

그 많은 시간을 함께 겪었는데
이제와 어떻게 혼자 살란 거야
그렇겐 못해 난 못해

죽어도 못 보내
정말로 못 보내
내가 어떻게 널 보내
가려거든 떠나려거든 내 가슴 고쳐내
아프지 않게 나 살아갈 수 라도 있게
안 된다면 어차피 못살 거
죽어도 못 보내

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOREkPq1aVQ


(one of my fave from 2am)

Friday, November 26, 2010

worst week bites!

it's been a while since i last posted. sorry guys. been busy preparin' for some stuff here so.. well. how's everyone been doing? i hope you guys had a pleasant weekend. mine was still a bit off. what's worse than having a deadline and an allergy that i can't seem to get out off yet? hmm... well, last night i got bitten by an insect. it mimic a bee. hence, i wasn't really bitten but i got stung by this unfortunate insect. coz right after it stung me, my dad caught it and burned it. a small part of my left side is a bit swollen though. it hurts a lot too.. ang hapdi nga maxado... i have a hard time sleeping on my left side. grrr.. oh well... how worst can my weekend get? ugh!! ssibal!! hope i get through this. but look @ the bright side, the insect doesn't seem to be harmful now. now that it's dead!! hehehe... and the venom isn't that potent either. hahahaha!!! hmmmm...

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

monster allergy!! :(

damn! i've got the allergies!!! grrr!!! how bad can this life get?! gaaaah!!! both ma eyes hurt like hell.. not only does it hurt pretty bad, but it itches too.. just went to the docs i know in the mall, they said i must've ate something i wasn't aware i was allergic to. i really don't know if i'm allergic to any food but milk. gaaah! wtf!

nun i appayo!!

click on cc for subs... nice vid.

Friday, November 12, 2010

또르르

sorry i wasn't able to come post a few thoughts. it's just that i've been a bit busy these days.

btw, this is one of my fave songs from my current fave show. i hope you guys like this as much as i did.

또르르

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sI9x_X4zqk

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

appa (it hurts) eng ver

appa (it hurts)

IT HURTS (slow)--ENGLISH TRANSLATION

[CL] You wear the shoes I gave you and walk along the streets with her
As if it were nothing, you kiss her
You spray the cologne I gave you and embrace her
You'll probably repeat those promises you made to me with her

[Minzy] It seems that we're already too late
Has our love already ended
Please at least say anything to me
We truly loved each other, can't turn back?

[Dara] I'm the only one hurting tonight

[Bom] Have you changed?
Am I no longer in your heart now?
When I, I think about you
It hurts, hurts, hurts so much

[Minzy] You look at my tears as if it were nothing
You continue to talk calmly again
[CL] You told me cruely that you couldn't deny
That you had absolutely no attachments or regrets

[Bom] Are we already too late? Is our love over?
Even if it's a lie, please tell me it isn't so
I can do better now, though we can't meet again

[Dara] I'm the only one in pain tonight

[CL] Have you changed?
Am I no longer in your heart now?
When I, I think about you
It hurts, hurts, hurts so much

[Minzy] You're no longer your old self
[CL] Because the you I loved
And the you now are so different
[Dara] Are you that shocked?
I just stood and cried
Watching you become further away
[Bom] No way, I can't recognize
You're not mine anymore

[Dara] Did you have to change?
Can't you come back?
Did you really have to change?
Can't you come back?

Did you have to change?
Can't you come back?
Why did you have to change?
Can't you keep loving me?

[Bom] Oh, is this the end?
Am I no longer in your heart now?
When I, I think about you
[Minzy] It hurts, hurts, hurts so much

[Minzy] It hurts, it hurts
[CL] It hurts, it hurts

nae imam appungayo (my heart hurts; heart broken)

mianhaeda oppa! jongmal mianhae. jombeuteosseo mianhae. manni bogoshipunyo oppa!! bogoshipta!! yongseohae jwo. naege jalmothaesseo. uri, jal jinaesseo? oppa!!! uri hui ui andwae! amppokko!! sireohaeyo!! nan saranghan'da oppa! oppaneun nan saranghamnida. uri hui ui andwae ji, ara?! torawa! oppaneun torawatagu kkeoya!! bogoshipta!


songs for the day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O16Q-ieTgE8


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAKbrqlmcbs

could-be side effects??!

i'm goin to bed now coz i'm soooo bored in here! like super bored!! there's nothing for me to do here but sleep these days. i slept the entire day, but why do i still feel sleepy?? grrr!! i hate this drug!! 21 days total minus i think 3 equals 18 days more to go... grrr!!

oh well... magtiis. pasenxa!

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

noviembre y uno dos mil y sientos diyes.. en el todos los santos

another day has passed. still haven't slept. oh well.. and it's now nov 2 here in the phil... araw ng mga santo or todos los santos or in english, all saint's day. oh well.. i had a blast lastnight at the cemetery with friends and family. didn't really stay long @ mom's. so i went out of our tent and walked around for the entire night. met gong2x, noni and negro along the way. had fun talking with them too.. plus i have a newly found friend there. hehe! oh well... i'm such a friendly person!! everywhere i go, people seem to know me without me knowing them...

met up with my best friend there too. Antonio "JunJun/Qiaojiaren" Salazar, Jr. it's been a long time. oraemaniya. hehe. it's been good seeing ya again, best! btw, ung plano natin kelangan na talagang matuloy un!! oi!! chips ahoy!! ;P

what i'd give to spend my days and nights with my dear best friend. coz it seems he's the only one around here who really understands me regardless of the days and nights of not having contact with each other. oh well... guess i'm just misunderstood. woe is me! woe is me! oh well... i don't mind. no, i don't care anymore. like the saying goes, "you weren't exactly born to this world to please everyone around you. somewhere along the way, someone will criticize you for who and what you are. whether you like it or not, you'll just have to accept it." hmmm.. i don't know who really said that line and from where that line really come from, but whoever said that, that person is right.

going to bed now... i need to take a nap!! coz we'll be coming back to the cemetery later. idk what time tho but i really can't wait!!!

gnyt i mean gmorning folks and losers!! mmmwah!

Monday, November 01, 2010

TORAWA!!! Torawa tago oppa!! chebal torawa!!

listen...

To ra wa!!! Torawa!! nanun otttoke??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx2lnZ_WjkA


chebal.. torawa... sarangingayo.

Nagging [Jansori (chansori)]

Hope you guys like it!! ka ma na ja!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC4dyX-BssI&NR=1

Sunday, October 31, 2010

cda (certified drug addict?) ?!

pff! can't believe i have to take this drug! wtf!!! oh well... seems like everyone still wants me around... grrr!! how much longer do i have to make "tiis"?! i don't think i can take this anymore!!! grrrr!!! FUCK!!

can't believe i still love you up till now. hmmm.. wae?? why? bakit? ngano? porque?

i just hope this drug won't give me problems. else, i throw this shit up! hehe... later i'm goin' to the high lands with my girl friend, Che. she says i have to unwind. hmmm... do you think i really need that now? hmm... idk either but wth!! if it kills me, then gooo!!!! haha!!!

later losers!! hahahaha!! just kidding!!

Friday, October 29, 2010

hanmadiman [one word]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IduqASu_BA0&NR=1

Thursday, October 28, 2010

nan sarangeul molla

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiOGChfKR4Y

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

:(

na apa. nanun kiuni opseumnida. wae molla. oh well.. guess i'll just eat my way outta this. hmm...

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Selfish

i gave my time for you, my best to you but you kept on leaving me
i gave my heart to you, my love for you but you kept on throwing it back to me
i made you promise me so many things but you kept on forgettin them all
why? why?


why do you act this way?
can you feel my pain now?
why do you treat me hurt me this way?
can you see my tears falling down?
i don't remember when or how i fell in love with you somehow
still the feelings i have for you remains the same!
why?!

Friday, October 22, 2010

ijen / chigum (now)

i'm sorry... mianhaeda (mi-yan-he-da). hajiman, tangshin wa na... uri chin-gu ya animnida. andwe-ji. neorang yaegi hago sip-jji ana! jigyeowo wa pigonaeimnida. uri tto mannalkkamyeon, sang gwan an hae. uri dasineun mannaji malja! chebal. mianhaeda..
i hurt you, but you hurt me more!


di lang ikaw

pansin mo ba ang pagbabago
di matitigan ang iyong mga mata
tila di na nananabik sayong yakap at halik
sana'y malaman mong hindi ko sinasadya kung ang nais ko ay maging malaya

*
di lang ikaw
di lang ikaw ang nahihirapan
damdamin ko rin ay naguguluhan
di lang ikaw
di lang ikaw ang nababahala
bulong ng isip wag kang pakawalan, ngunit puso ko ay kailangan kang iwan.

pansin mo ba at nararamdaman?
di na tayo magkaintindihan
tila hindi na maibabalik tamis ng yakap at halik
maaring tama ka lumalamig ang pagsinta
sana'y malaman mong di ko sinasadya

*

di hahayaang habang buhay kang saktan
at sasayangin ang iyong panahon
ikaw'y magiging masaya sa yakap at sa piling na ng iba


*

fin