The "Right" Norms

A few days ago, I got pissed at this girl and had these evil thoughts of breaking her to pieces emotionally. I got threatened by the range and the rate she's done and achieved in our family.  Personally, I don't like her for my brother--regardless of age and whatnot.  I really don't see this "future" of theirs that they may or might have referred to.

The state of mind of such a person--an "unbeliever" (not a Christian); it's okay to be sexually immoral sometimes, especially at your dad's house--annoys and irritates me.  The fact that she pretended not to notice my reactions and the pre-tense "confusion" of the sin" she had done to me. The way she addresses she doesn't have or just don't want to know or see what it is or was astounds me. Her imperfections literally makes me want to burst into laughter. The kind that deeply scrutinizes and emphasizes the faults of unfamiliar terrains. How insulting, I know.

I hate how she had turned my dad into this apathetic mediocre man--unintentionally or unconsciously or worst, the opposite-- whom I, personally, used to look up to.  Fortunately, I have realized that I shouldn't have looked up to such people and just remain calm look up and be secured in God alone.

The fact that I have inflicted such "acclaimed pains" and "ruined' "her reputation" -- whatever that is-- makes me want to burst (into laughter, literally) even more!!! 

I have kept myself shut of this matter for a span of 3 mos, thinking "this too shall past".  Hoping for a better start every time. Unfortunately, things have appeared out of the norm and out of hand. For 3 long mos, I have been keeping myself accountable to my mentors and spiritual family and friends asking for advises and prayers. Until that very day had arrived. 

I am not sorry to have hurt her. Hurting her feelings was the last thing that I wanted to do.

This is actually a wake up call.  A notice. That I am more deeply hurt in these matters more than anyone else in the premises.  I, however, had no intentions of stating names in that previous comment on my wall post in my facebook account. I just stated facts. 

This kind of norm, however, is UNACCEPTABLE & UNFORGIVEABLE in the eyes of God. Don't just look at the logs and the many great levels of planks of my shortcomings and faults in the past. Cause the past is THE PAST.  Try to see things differently.  We're not the only ones at the premises. Remember there's also a child who see things differently from us.  And I for one, do not want him to imitate or emulate your irresponsibility and you unaccountable actions. Let it be stated here.

I wish not to be a peace with the world.  As Paul once stated, "Love the Light and Hate the world... Do not conform with the ways of this corrupt generation (the world)."

Finally, I am no longer and have no longer and most importantly, will no longer look for happiness in places, especially in material things. One thing is for certain, I have found JOY.  and happiness...is elusive because it's circumstantial. Unlike Joy. It's permanent.