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오빠 어디 겄어요? 어디 갔은데? Asan ka na aking mahal? Saan ka nagpunta at kelan kang muling magbabalik sa akin?

Memories

I miss "us"! I miss "you"! I wish you know how much it hurt me when you left and still treated me that way. If you only knew. I'm still not over you, over "us". And that I STILL LOVE YOU! As crazy and ridiculous as it may sound, it's true. Walang halung biro. Mahal parin kita hanggang ngayon hayop ka!! But what can someone like me do foe you to understand me? You never understand me!! Everywhere I go, I only see you.

3-day trips

it's been a long time since i last posted. anyway, the other day we arrived to this warm place called CDO with my dad and my son. then this afternoon, my cousins and i and my son went to see a movie. Praybeyt Benjamin. It's a very funny movie!! hahaha!! thumbs up! but i don't think i wanna watch it again. i'm not much of a fan of the lead gay actor. oh well... and tomorrow, we're leaving. we're going back home.

the thing about 3-day trips is that you don't get that much out of that trip.. how i wish we could stay here a lil longer. oh well... hmmm...

longing for someone or something?

guess i'm just lonely that's why i'm acting and feeling this way.  it's just that it's been a long time since i had real chat with a pal.  feels like a millenia or a century. idk. and to make things even more worse than being sick, i'm missing someone i haven't even met!!! personally, i mean. oh well. things just get better and better! keep 'em coming!! wtf!

My Precious - Jang Geun Seok

수줍은 그의 속삭임 스며드는 귓가에
소복하게 쌓여가는 우리들의 이야기
서로를 바라보며 살아가는
참 어리석고 예쁜 모습들
타박타박 걸어가는 나지막한 골목길
틈 사이로 비춰오는 한 모금의 햇살처럼
무엇조차 알 수 없던 나에게
작은 꿈하나를 심어주는 너

my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
가시같았던 기억들이 흔적도 없이 사라질만큼 따뜻하게
my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
작은 한아름조차 소중히 간직하게 될 것만 같은 이런 설레임

기분 좋은 바람에 스치는 옷 깃 위로
부서지는 너의 눈빛 두손을 모아 담으며
철 없이 그저 순수했던 말들이
내 가슴 위로 전해져 온다
유난히 간절했던 잃어버린 내 바램들
머뭇머뭇 주억이다 한 숨 짓고 돌아서며
혼자서만 남겨질 것 같았던
내 두 손을 꼭 잡아주는너

my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
부서질것만같던 가슴을 말 없이 쓰다듬어 줬던 너의 손길
my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
너만 곁에 있다면 무엇도 해낼 수 있을 것만같은 이런 설레임

my precious (어떤 햇살보다 따뜻한)
my precious (어떤 보석보다 찬란한)
부서질 것만 같던 가슴을 말 없이 쓰다듬어 줬던 너의 손길
my precious (어떤 하늘보다 깨끗한)
my precious (어떤 유리보다 투명한)
너만 곁에 있다면 무엇도 해낼 수 있을 것만 같은 이런 설레임

my precious..


romanization:

sujubeun geuui soksagim seumyeodeuneun gwitgae
sobokhage ssahyeoganeun urideurui iyagi
seororeul barabomyeo saraganeun
cham eoriseokgo yeppeun moseupdeul
tabaktabak georeoganeun najimakhan golmokgil
teum sairo bichwooneun han mogeumui haessalcheoreom
mueotjocha al su eopdeon naege
jageun kkumhanareul simeojuneun neo

my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
gasigatatdeon gieokdeuri heunjeokdo eobsi sarajilmankeum ttatteutage
my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
jageun hanareumjocha sojunghi ganjikhage doel geotman gateun ireon seolleim

gibun joheun barame seuchineun ot git wiro
buseojineun neoui nunbit dusoneul moa dameumyeo
cheol eobsi geujeo sunsuhaetdeon maldeuri
nae gaseum wiro jeonhaejyeo onda
yunanhi ganjeolhaetdeon irheobeorin nae baraemdeul
meomutmeomut jueogida han sum jitgo doraseomyeo
honjaseoman namgyeojil geot gatatdeon
nae du soneul kkok jabajuneunneo

my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
buseojilgeotmangatdeon gaseumeul mal eobsi sseudadeumeo jwotdeon neoui songil
my precious (my precious)
my precious (my precious)
neoman gyeote itdamyeon mueotdo haenael su isseul geotmangateun ireon seolleim

my precious (eotteon haessalboda ttatteutan)
my precious (eotteon boseokboda challanhan)
buseojil geotman gatdeon gaseumeul mal eobsi sseudadeumeo jwotdeon neoui songil
my precious (eotteon haneulboda kkaekkeutan)
my precious (eotteon yuriboda tumyeonghan)
neoman gyeote itdamyeon mueotdo haenael su isseul geotman gateun ireon seolleim

my precious..

hmmm...

i miss him!! how i wish we could really see each other and just hang out. i hate it when we're just communicating through cellphones and not personally. argh! hmmm.. i wish we could talk. just talk over coffee and beer or something. hehe.. siyempre. dapat me kasamang kain. hehe

ingatz always ha?

crash!

i miss hanging out with him. he left for manila early this morning. hmmm.. didn't even bother to text me if he got there safely or not. grrr! i don't know why i gave him the heirloom my dead cousin gave me years ago last night. i don't know what got into me. hmm.. cousin must've told me so.. oh i don't know. but i know one day i'll find out why. i hope.

i can't seem to get over the mem'ries he left me. it left a mark on me.. scars.. deep scars.. they weren't bad mem'ries though but good ones. the best i ever had! i miss him.. badly.. i hate missing people though coz i can't sleep or think right. argh! this isn't good. oh well... time for me to go home now and to go to sleep.

songs for the day

confused? trying to make sense of it all

i am so confused here! i don't know what to do anymore. there's someone in my thoughts that i can't seem to get over. ugh!! this is bad! this is very bad!! i've fallen... fallen big time! argh!! and i kept telling myself not to...


coz in the eyes of many, this is wrong. a sin maybe. well one pretty good sin, i might add. haha. oh well...

what the fuck am i doing??? should i tell him or should i just let this pass??? grrrr!! ottokke?? ottokajyo? what to do?? what to do??? what should i do???

MY BUCKETLIST

1. JUST BE ME without worrying about what other people may think of me or say about me.
2. Be FREE
3. to have all my compositions recorded
4. to have my own concert on my birthday next year
5. meet, greet, and collab music with usher & ryan cayabyab, etc
6. perform on stage with my musical inspirations
7. a swim with the sharks (in a cage or in an aquarium)
8. go to africa to observe nature
9. pet a wild cat in africa with a good friend or with a clique (if i have one!)
10. visit and pray in all temples of japan and korea
11. climb the himalayas with a special someone (new or old friend or hmmm...hehe)
12. learn how to speak italian, korean and jap fluently
13. taj mahal
14. go to Boracay, Batanes and Palawan with someone special
15. canada: pay a visit to my godparents and major; minnesota: pay a visit to our relatives
16. go visit my sisters in the states and in australia
17. be happy and contented with life!!
18. learn how to forgive
19. learn how to forget
20. learn how to be REALLY HAPPY and stay happy as long as possible

21. meet someone inspiring

The Bitch Who Gives Clues As To How She Really Feels For Just About Everyone!

If I Hate You, then I'll either slap you with my words or literally slap you in the face, turn around and walk away from you.


If I Like You, then I'll answer all your questions directly no strings attached. I may kiss you passionately, but then, that'll just be like a smack for me.


If I Love You, I won't say it. Though I'll just keep informing you how i'm doing through text or email. I'll Let You Kiss Me passionately but that'll just be it. I won't let you Fuck Me. I maybe a Bitch, But This Bitch Got Rules! Ya Feelin' Me?


But If I've Fallen In Love With You, I Won't Say It Directly To Your Face. Only I'll send you a text message that says:


You Won't See Me Anymore Cause I'm Never Coming Back

Heartache

how long must i keep loving you?

how much time do you think we have

  before you realize, before you notice that i'm no longer by your side?

because you know, i'll be trying to move on

  even though i can't carry on living like this

to your eyes, it may seem that i am happy and alive

but that's a lie! just a lie!

how many tears must i shed for you (my heart) in order to break free?

how many lies must i keep telling myself (i'm alright) when the lie itself is killing me?

cause when a heart is aching, nothing seems to matter anymore

and while you're trying to mend it, everything just pains through your soul

how long must i keep loving you?

how long must i even care?

how long must i keep paining through whenever i see you're no longer there?

because you know, i'm trying to move on

  even though i can't carry on living like this

and to your eyes, it may appear that i am happy and alive

but that's a lie! just a lie!

cause when a heart is aching, nothing seems to matter anymore

and while you're trying to mend it, everything just pains through your soul

cause when your heart is aching, when your heart is breaking, life doesn't seem to be life anymore

and while you're trying to mend, trying to rebuild, the more you fall, sinking to the floor...

cause when your heart is aching, when your heart is breaking, life doesn't seem to matter anymore

and while you're trying to mend, keep trying to rebuild it, the more you fall, sinking to the floor...

fin

HARSH REALITY

falling can sometimes be a good thing. it feels great. your days seem complete and secure and your nights aren't that cold anymore. but other times, it's not. it's awful. it hurts so much it makes you wanna regret. it hurts so much that it makes you wished you hadn't. 

 ironic, isn't it? yeah... tell me about it.

nan sarangeul molla

the pains of falling apart because of falling in love....

best days spent...

best days i've ever had was with this person. and he doesn't even know that i've been in love with him since i first laid eyes on him. hehe.

4th graders. that was the very first time i saw him. hehe. i kept telling myself to be attracted to this other guy because he was cuter and all, but i know i wasn't fooling anyone. especially me. hehe. and i told most of our classmates a false crush. hehe. ayaw umamin eh noh? hehe.. and tindi mo teh!! 

anyway, there's only one specific reason why i liked this guy.HE WAS HIM. i remember making a promise to myself on that very day, that if this guy stood up to me one day and professed his love for me, i'd make him wait for two weeks and then say "yes." haven't forgotten about it ever since. though i was just a kid then, i knew what i was saying.

as years passed by, i've had a few ups and downs, a few relationships and now a son. however, i had never forgotten about him. never. no. never. i had always kept that memory with me wherever i go and whoever i was with. that's why i'd always turned them all down. it was all because of this boy. this guy who showed up on the eve of my birthday of this very year. 

I'm keeping this promise with me. i'm not afraid anymore. so don't be as well.. yeah i know i lied to you guys. i had to! sekreto nga eh, diba? ^^

keep falling

i've fallen for you already and it's makin' me feel scared cause
it's been such a long time since someone has made me feel this way
but i don't want to belong in your arms (no, not yet)
cause in the end i know i'll be the only one who'll be hurt

still there's something about you that's still making me doubt
don't even ask me why cause i'm still trying to figure that one out
it's drivin' me crazy cause you keep poppin' up in my head
and i hate what i'm feeling inside of me, but..

* i cannot help it
no matter how hard i try, still i
i'm still falling for you
and it's making me feel like a fool
and i feel so helpless
cause no matter how hard i distract myself, still i
i keep falling for you
oh, what am i to do?
i'm falling in love with you

fin

por una cabeza

just finished practicing the violin. well.. an hour ago. man! does my left shoulder hurt!! hmm...  this vid that i'm currently watching is so addictive, i can't seem to get my eyes off this guys fingers!! he's good! waaah!

hope i could play this one feb of next yr!!! awesome!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdZW7Hd8J8A

울고싶단말야- 박재범 (Jay Park) & 용감한형제(Brave Brothers)

Please don't cry
uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
uh uh uh uh
uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh
uh uh uh uh I want you baby

나 지금 울고 싶단 말야
너 땜에 울고 싶단 말야
힘들어 울고 싶단 말야
예전처럼 웃고 싶단 말야
또다시 울고 있단 말야 나 울고 있단 말야 babe
내 지친 사랑이 니 거친 바람이
나 두려워 나 두려워 너 없는 시간이

내 모든 것을 줬어 날 울리는 너
가슴에 심장은 없어 뻥 뚫린 구멍
앞길이 너무 어두워 난 두려워 나 두려워
너 없이 미래가 안 보여 나 무서워 나 무서워
I got you baby girl
I love you are the one
I got you baby girl
나 그 무엇도 필요없어 날 떠나지마

나 지금 울고 싶단 말야
너 땜에 울고 싶단 말야
힘들어 울고 싶단 말야
예전처럼 웃고 싶단 말야
또다시 울고 있단 말야 나 울고 있단 말야 babe
내 지친 사랑이 니 거친 바람이
나 두려워 나 두려워 너 없는 시간이

니가 떠나간 순간부터
내가 없어 가슴이 너무 아파
이제 외로운 난 홀로
슬픔의 눈물 맨손으로 닦아
넌 내가 있어야 할 곳
다른 데는 절대 가지를 못해
제발 내 옆에 있어줘
너 없인 난 용감하지도 못해
I got you baby girl
I love you are the one
I got you baby girl
나 그 무엇도 필요없어 내 곁에 있어줘

나 지금 울고 싶단 말야
너 땜에 울고 싶단 말야
힘들어 울고 싶단 말야
예전처럼 웃고 싶단 말야
또다시 울고 있단 말야 나 울고 있단 말야 babe
내 지친 사랑이 니 거친 바람이
나 두려워 난 두려워 너 없는 시간이
사랑한단 말도 못해 목이 메여와
I just want to come back my girl
내 가슴 찢어져 너밖에 모르는 나였기에
돌아올 순 없는거니 다시 올 수 없는거니
나 지금 여기서 너만을 기다리잖아

나 지금 울고 싶단 말야
너 땜에 울고 싶단 말야
힘들어 울고 싶단 말야
예전처럼 웃고 싶단 말야
또다시 울고 있단 말야 나 울고 있단 말야 babe
내 지친 사랑이 니 거친 바람이
나 두려워 난 두려워 너 없는 시간이

Concierto?!

Feb 12 -- is the date!! Can't wait!! Yeepee! Concierto!! Wish me Luck!

i hope there would be a door opening for me by then or afterwards, i mean. i really need this! this would be my big break. i'm planning on joining some competitions online. hope i get picked. still haven't recorded.. wahhh! i've gotta hurry up and fast! ppalrae!! hehe..