cda (certified drug addict?) ?!

pff! can't believe i have to take this drug! wtf!!! oh well... seems like everyone still wants me around... grrr!! how much longer do i have to make "tiis"?! i don't think i can take this anymore!!! grrrr!!! FUCK!!

can't believe i still love you up till now. hmmm.. wae?? why? bakit? ngano? porque?

i just hope this drug won't give me problems. else, i throw this shit up! hehe... later i'm goin' to the high lands with my girl friend, Che. she says i have to unwind. hmmm... do you think i really need that now? hmm... idk either but wth!! if it kills me, then gooo!!!! haha!!!

later losers!! hahahaha!! just kidding!!

hanmadiman [one word]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IduqASu_BA0&NR=1

nan sarangeul molla

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiOGChfKR4Y

:(

na apa. nanun kiuni opseumnida. wae molla. oh well.. guess i'll just eat my way outta this. hmm...

Selfish

i gave my time for you, my best to you but you kept on leaving me
i gave my heart to you, my love for you but you kept on throwing it back to me
i made you promise me so many things but you kept on forgettin them all
why? why?


why do you act this way?
can you feel my pain now?
why do you treat me hurt me this way?
can you see my tears falling down?
i don't remember when or how i fell in love with you somehow
still the feelings i have for you remains the same!
why?!

ijen / chigum (now)

i'm sorry... mianhaeda (mi-yan-he-da). hajiman, tangshin wa na... uri chin-gu ya animnida. andwe-ji. neorang yaegi hago sip-jji ana! jigyeowo wa pigonaeimnida. uri tto mannalkkamyeon, sang gwan an hae. uri dasineun mannaji malja! chebal. mianhaeda..
i hurt you, but you hurt me more!

di lang ikaw

pansin mo ba ang pagbabago
di matitigan ang iyong mga mata
tila di na nananabik sayong yakap at halik
sana'y malaman mong hindi ko sinasadya kung ang nais ko ay maging malaya

*
di lang ikaw
di lang ikaw ang nahihirapan
damdamin ko rin ay naguguluhan
di lang ikaw
di lang ikaw ang nababahala
bulong ng isip wag kang pakawalan, ngunit puso ko ay kailangan kang iwan.

pansin mo ba at nararamdaman?
di na tayo magkaintindihan
tila hindi na maibabalik tamis ng yakap at halik
maaring tama ka lumalamig ang pagsinta
sana'y malaman mong di ko sinasadya

*

di hahayaang habang buhay kang saktan
at sasayangin ang iyong panahon
ikaw'y magiging masaya sa yakap at sa piling na ng iba


*

fin

Who was I?

i heard the words that you said
words that laid around within my head
was i just a game to you, not any special someone, just another name for you
that you'd soon once forget?
like all of the ones that ruled once in your head?

*
i need just one more question answered
i need just one more thing to know...
**
who was i when i keep your tears from falling?
who was i when i come to ease your pain and sit by your side?
who was i to believe that i was your best friend?
was i just another mem'ry to forget?

before we both fell apart
i remember holding your hands close to my heart
and i told you to push me away
somehow i knew the wrong could never be right anyway
from you i suddenly did hear a change in your voice with words that i feared

*, **

but if you asked me what you were to me
even if it doesn't matter now
i must say it somehow


you were mine
every tear i'd catch from falling
you were mine
always knew that in this heart you were inside
you were mine
i believed that you were my best friend
though i know i'm just a mem'ry
like 'the end' to all of the stories
but to me you were the one i loved
i loved until the end
..you were mine.

fin

recovered!

i'm happy with life now!! not because of.. hahaha... finally i've finally gotten over ... it feels good being in this kinda state again.. didn't think it'd only take me a few days to get my self back in one piece (again). i should get more OT's than the usual! hehehe..

Saeng-ireul ch'uk'han'da!!!

It's Tatay Leo's birthday tonight!!! Happy Happy Happy Happpppyyy Birthday Tatay Leo!!! Sorry I couldn't come tonight coz I had some stuff to do here sa plant and sa house eh. But will try to come over this coming Saturday or Sunday. Hope you'll have a blessed day Tatay (abeoji/appa)... Saranghamnida Appa!!! Mom choshimhashipshio always...

Happy birthday to you!! May the Lord God bless you...with the donkey and the monkey... with the elephant too!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! <3

forgiveness please.

i hurt someone pretty badly. i'm sorry. i didn't expect this kinda reaction from someone like him. i didn't really expect anything tbh. but i was hoping he'd forgive me and give me a second chance to straighten things out. unfortunately, because of his huge pride, there's no way in for me. anyone but me. i apologized for 3 times but still he won't forgive me. hmm... he's really got this big ego, huh? come to think of it, he never really apologized to me either since we had our first fight (August 9). he really has got a huge pride in himself.

so i decided not to come online for quite some time. i just didn't think he'd answer back. i don't know if he realizes how sorry i am. mianhaeyo. hope you can find in your heart to forgive me someday. keuten, kidarigesseumnida.

mianhamnida (i'm sorry)

i'm sorry if i hurt you di ko sinasadya. but if you can't really take it, can you please tell me? i'm not a fortune-teller to know what's running in your head. i'm sorry. mian. :(

honde, nan chugoitda ijen.. [chigum] jongmal joahaegutunyo. mian. honde, eottokeyo? nan eotokke-iun geoya yeogi? molla. mianhaeda oppa. but know this, sarangingayo. saranghamnida oppa. jal ka!

i want out!

the more i hate myself, the more i want to follow. it's not like anyone would care. well, i guess there'll be a bunch of people around me when that day comes, but that's a bunch of BS to me! i want an open conversation. but how can i if you want me to leave? how can i if you won't even budge to ask how the fuck am i really doin in here Pa? this life is a bunch of bull! fuck!! gikapoy na ko!! dipati ra jud!

everything seems so scattered. i have to fix things here pa muna to lighten up. how long do i have to put up with this kinda shit?! wtf!!

just for the record, tbh, i wasn't really born to this god forsaken planet to please everyone around me.. but wtf am i doing?? hahai... oh well... pagbigyan.

wayganacelebrate?!

it's dada's birthday tonight but wth am i doin here? not in the mood i guess..

oh well..

the reality

i've come to realize that hiding the truth from the ones you love hurts as much as losing the one you pushed away [from you]. i'm sorry i shouldn't have. but i guess it's too late now that you're gone. sorry "A" ha? sorry kaayo. i hid him from you all these years kahit na alam ko na alam mo about him. i just had to protect the both of you from my family. mianhaeyo.

Food Trip!!

bf was easy.. it was mild..

lunch was in normal mode.. ulong to the max!! did the cooking and the plating as well... had fun cooking it!! hahaha!!

dinner was worst tho!! woorijib!! i'm never gonna look at korean food this way again!! torture!! oh well.. will upload soon..

frustration

hahai... mamaya na ang trip ko... nakakabadtrip nga lang si dada... seems like no one is going to bring me to the airport. dada's really not gonna help me out. he's such a prick most days!! grrr.. oh well.. guess i'll just have to commute to the airport this time.. hmmm.. if not, i can always ask mang ani.. hope he's not busy later..

oh well..





i'll see you later tho. :)