A :Loss To Remember :(

Sir Saranillo, the former school principal of DPS, has recently died yesterday. I was texted by his son, Ryan, earlier this morning at 1am to inform me of the sad news about his dad. Let us Pray for the soul of the late former principal.

The Problem with Uploading Photos

i'm now uploading some of my son's photos with me and the rest of the family. but then, i'm encountering problems with uploading our photos. it's taking me so darn long to upload. Eh pano ba naman, dial-up dito sa bahay. so unexpected talaga. oh well...

till now it's taking too long to upload. si ate nancy naman, she can't even wait. grrrr... I'M STILL UPLOADING!!! HELLO?

i hate it when people bug me about photos! grrr!

guilt

i don't know if there is such a word that could describe what i'm feeling right now. it's indescribably annoying and painful at the same time. i didn't plan on telling anyone friends or even family about this pain. this depression had been with me for 18 yrs. it'll turn 19th this year. i just hope i don't die while niko's very young, like this. i don't think that it'll be fair for him.

there are times that i want to accept him and hold him in my arms. hold him in my arms like i never did before. why am i feeling this way? so confused, lonely, depressed, and keep isolating myself from every living thing around me? why? why?

when will i know the reason why? when will all this hatred in me end? when? :(